No matter who you are and what you believe, I think we can all agree that there are three things you can always count on in this world: Death, Taxes and Tim McCarver sucking. Well, apparently the National Baseball Hall of Fame has decided to nominate the terminally confused, constantly verbose and perpetually dense color man for the Ford C. Frick Award. Which, we’re assuming honors idiocy in broadcasting.
Actually, the Frick Award is presented annually to a broadcaster for “major contributions to baseball.” In the past it has gone to incredible broadcasters like Mel Allen, Vin Scully, Jack Buck, Ernie Harwell, Harry Caray, Harry Kalas, Bob Uecker and Jerry Coleman. Guys we can all agree have made tremendous contributions to the game of baseball.
Now McCarver is one of 10 nominees for the award.
What have his contributions to the world of baseball from the booth been? Being awful at his job? Making others look really good? I really couldn’t tell you.
Thankfully a wonderful site named ShutupTimMcCarver.com has pieced together some examples of McCarver’s exemplary work. (Note: These are all submitted by the site’s readers.)
Enjoy some of these:
“If you leadoff every day, you’re guaranteed to bat with the bases empty at least 162 times.”
During Game Five of the 2006 NLCS, on a pitch to Jose Reyes: “That pitch wasn’t down and in, that pitch was down and up.”
“If Oliver Perez throws in the succeeding innings like he did in the first, you might not need the bullpen early.”
“Something to keep in mind – it’s raining lightly. The infield could be very wet on ground balls.”
“So by guessing right you might have guessed wrong.”
“Pitching is such a vital part of the game, as far as winning is concerned.”
“Well David Eckstein, like most of us, has 20 digits. Ten fingers. Ten toes.”
During Game Five of the 2004 ALCS following a home run by David Ortiz: “Mt. Everest erupts again!”
“Roy Oswalt is a drop and drive pitcher. What is a drop and drive pitcher? He is a guy who drops and drives. Very simple.”
“There is a world of difference between a count of one ball and two strikes is a lot different situation than hitting with two strikes and one ball.”
2002 ALCS Yankees vs. Angels following a Jason Giambi walk: “Giambi walks too much. He’s always clogging up the bases with all that walking.”
During the 2005 All-Star Game with Vlad Guerrero at the plate: “With Guerrero, it’s not as much a strike zone as it is a strike area.”
Referring to Shawn Chacon: “He wears hit hat like a left-hander.”
During a Red Sox-Orioles game: “The reason we call that pitch up and in is because the arms are attached to the shoulder.”
“One thing about ground balls, they don’t go out of the ballpark.”