Nicole Vaidisova: Tennis’ Yoko Ono

August 17, 2010 – 12:07 am by Matthew Glenesk

Every guy has his favorite female tennis star to ogle at (and Google search).

There’s a bunch to choose from. From Anna Kournikova to the girl with the gi-normous boobs who decided to spit in God’s face and get a reduction to ease her movement around the court. I don’t know what she was talking about, I always appreciated her court movement.

Being a guy who likes girls who look “healthy” and might be undervalued, I always had a thing for Czech tennis player Nicole Vaidisova. She had this Scarlett Johansson-ish look to her. Or at least I thought so. And she flew under the radar compared to other tennis hotties.

Well, on July 17th, she married this miscreant.

My roommate and I were biking earlier today (cute, I know), and we rode by this ridiculously hot chick with some long-haired, messy schlub. “Seriously, that guy?”

That’s what we’re working with here. It’s almost on Marko Jaric-like proportions. Almost.

I actually have nothing personal against Radek Stepanek. In fact, I usually appreciate his game. He’s an annoying opponent, who tracks nearly everything down, much like my glory days back in school. Stepanek reached as high as No. 8 in the summer of 2006, the same year he reached the quarterfinals of Wimbledon.

At the time, Stepanek was dating, and later engaged to, former women’s No. 1 Martina Hingis. That’s right, not even the Swiss Miss could resist the charm of Radek Stepanek. It’s like Will Ferrell’s character in “The Other Guys.” If you haven’t seen it yet, you’ll understand when you do.

But Stepanek and Hingis’ engagement ended in August 2007, and Stepanek’s career kind of plateaued. Until he met and fell in love with Vaidisova. That’s when it bombed. Though you can forgive Stepanek if his mind is a little distracted.

I’ve heard of wives draining the life out of you, but the game?  Even Paul McCartney is shaking his head at this one.

Stepanek hasn’t won a match in his last four tournaments.

In all, Stepanek is 1-8 in his last ATP Tour matches.

Now mind you, Stepanek is the 28th ranked player in the world currently, so it’s not like he’s some scrub.

In his first tournament since marrying Vaidisova, Stepanek received a first round bye at the Legg Mason Tennis Classic the first week in August, only to bomb out to Swiss nobody Marco Chiudinelli, 6-1, 6-3. (That’s for Hingis, bitch!) To make matters worse, Chiudinelli, the 64th ranked played in the world, lost 6-1, 6-0 to eventual champ David Nalbandian in the following round.

A week later, Stepanek flaked out in the first round to 85th ranked Fabio Fognini, 6-2, 6-4 at the Rogers Cup in Toronto. The only thing a guy named Fabio should beat you at is a hair-brushing contest. Period.

And now on Monday, Stepanek has once again made a quick exit with a 7-5, 6-1 dismissal by Viktor Troicki (ranked 47th) at the Western & Southern Financial Group Masters.

Yikes. If I’m a betting man, take a look at a Stepanek match and take the other guy. The winnings will give you just another reason to like Nicole Vaidisova.

At least by losing Stepanek gets to spend plenty of time with the wife, and maybe that’s his grand plan all along…

Could you blame him?

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  1. 4 Responses to “Nicole Vaidisova: Tennis’ Yoko Ono”

  2. If she’s the Yoko Ono of tennis, does that mean she’ll be appearing naked on the cover of a tennis bulletin sometime soon?

    By MJenks on Aug 17, 2010

  3. Seeing the after pictures of Simona Halep makes me cry.

    By Dave on Aug 18, 2010

  4. Just the opposite – Vidasova had the more promising career, ranking as high as no. 7. Now, she’ s given up tennis. Sad.

    By Steve on Aug 17, 2011

  5. This was written a while ago, so obviously things can change.

    By Ryan Phillips on Aug 17, 2011

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