Proof It’s Really Easy To Get Into Ohio State

July 27, 2010 – 12:54 pm by McD

In 2002, Maurice Clarett showed up in Columbus as a stud freshman who would lead the Buckeyes to a national championship over a wicked-loaded Miami Hurricanes team. Clarett spent one year there and declared for the NFL draft. Didn’t work out so well and we didn’t hear from him again until 2005 when the Broncos took him in the third round (snicker). Then he went to jail.

Three and a half years later, Clarett is out of prison and has re-enrolled at Ohio State, telling the judge that he wanted to get his degree and “operate a gym for geriatric individuals,” also winning him an award for best unintentional Mike Tyson impression.

I’m a little bit worried about how he’s going to transition to life on campus. Ohio State isn’t like prison. There’s nothing to stop fans from having a jerk in the library. Plus, it’s not like Clarett will have Pierce around to avoid being the oldest guy in the study group.

Hopefully, Clarett isn’t going to spend one year in his new degree program and then expect to be able to move on as though he’d earned his degree. And does this mean that Mike Williams is going to try to go back to USC and leave after just two years, only to try to come back and be denied by the NCAA?

But hey, Maurice shouldn’t worry, he won’t get too lonely in Columbus. I mean, at this rate, Greg Oden should be joining him soon.

Thank you, thank you. We will now return to our day jobs writing Jay Leno’s monologue.

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  1. 13 Responses to “Proof It’s Really Easy To Get Into Ohio State”

  2. haha good stuff!

    By Gonzalo on Jul 27, 2010

  3. Hell I heard Mo is really upset with tOSU administration because when he went there all they gave him was a Cadillac, hell Pryor and Heyward have top of the line Lexus SUV’s.

    By Roger Greenfield on Jul 27, 2010

  4. Why are you so shallow? Didn’t your mother love you? Did you ever know your father? Are you human? Maybe if that man got out of prison and went to a local mall where your family was enjoyig themselves, pull out a gun and hurt someone in your family, maybe you might love that scenario. I respect Ohio St. for trying to take part in helping someone rehabilitate themselves through proper education. All the people who has negative comments need to be educated in common sense.

    By pierre denis on Jul 27, 2010

  5. And the winner for no sense of humor is…

    By McD on Jul 27, 2010

  6. This is a kids life. How can you fault or ridicule a kid that wants to get his degree? There is no humor in kicking someone when they are down. This is plain being a bully. Who is watching McD? Its not funny even though we are talking about tOSU. Go write about your team not an ex-con trying to go straight. Actually what would be funny is if this kid found you not hiding behind your all mighty blog and you were talking &^%$. That would be funny.

    By Joe Stapley on Jul 28, 2010

  7. Hell I have a great sense of humor that is why I laugh my ass off when I read stories like this!

    tOSU exploits these kids, they make millions of dollars and allow kids into school that have no business attending, but they are admitted because they will make tOSU a football or basketball powerhouse. Mo can try all he wants but he is just not college material, let’s see if he gets a degree that is going to assist him in his life-long ambitions!

    I have to say that you seem to have problems and some deep rooted troubles, do you have a small penis and are you a premature ejaculator?

    Sounds like you are!

    By Roger Greenfield on Jul 28, 2010

  8. One has to wonder why Roger Greenfield is such an expert on penis size and premature ejaculation.

    But not for too long, because the answer is amusingly evident.

    By MJenks on Jul 28, 2010

  9. MJ,
    +1

    That’s why you’re our all-time best commenter.

    By Phillips on Jul 28, 2010

  10. OSU rules.
    Keep hatin’ loser.

    By "McD" 's a faggot on Jul 28, 2010

  11. I’d take a Cadillac over a Lexus SUV === the Cat is better-looking, whereas a Lexus is just a Jap-crap glorified piece of Toyota crap. Actually, I think I’d take a 2011 Jaguar XJ8 over anything —- especially because our Marxist-in-Chief Amateur President Barry HUSSEIN Obama took over G.M. — so, they’re off the list.

    Sincerely,
    USC’s recruiting class

    By McD sucks caaack on Jul 28, 2010

  12. i think maybe you would like to be a towel boy on the under and carry around your astro gliude just in case you got lucky.

    By WILMOX on Jul 29, 2010

  13. MJenks

    You should know, your wife constantly complains about you being a 1 minute man!

    Don’t worry I have taken care of her!

    By Roger Greenfield on Jul 30, 2010

  14. I don’t even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was good. I don’t know who you are but definitely you are
    going to a famous blogger if you aren’t already ;) Cheers!

    By free textbooks online on Aug 2, 2013

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