From My Cold Dead Hands

March 5, 2010 – 12:01 pm by Matthew Glenesk

heston-cold-dead-hands

Since Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittenton’s OK Corral showdown in the Wizards’ locker room in December, professional sports leagues are trying to deal with handguns in the workplace.

Major League Baseball recently posted signs in every clubhouse reading, “individuals are prohibited from possessing deadly weapons while performing any services for MLB.” Makes sense, no?

Well, that got St. Louis closer Ryan Franklin a little hot under the collar.

“If you grew up around it, being in the outdoors and stuff, I was taught as a young kid to respect firearms. First of all, you don’t get stupid with it. Always treat a gun like it’s loaded. That’s what I taught my son and daughters. There’s a place for them…There area a few guys that screwed it up for everybody. If it wasn’t for the NFL guy a couple years ago bringing a weapon into a nightclub…you’ve just got to be smart.”

Smart would be not bringing a gun to work, unless of course you know, you’re in law enforcement.

Baltimore outfielder Luke Scott doesn’t understand the big deal. He’s brought guns into the locker room plenty of times, and nobody knew. Until now.

“I’ve carried them in the locker room, and nobody really knows about it. I know how to handle myself and I stow it away where nobody really knows about it…Barring a tactical entry where terrorists come in and hold us hostage, that’s about the only thing that could possibly warrant me carrying a gun in the clubhouse. That’s highly unlikely and I admit that. But my personal belief is I don’t want to suffer from the poor choices of others.”

Columnists and anti-gun activists have preached the same thing since the Wizards’ incident. Why should athletes bring guns to work if the rest of the American workplace can’t?

Well, who says you can’t bring your gun to work?

In Indiana, a bill was passed by the House and the Senate Thursday (overwhelmingly by the way) allowing employees to bring their guns to work, they just have to leave them in their car. Because you know, there haven’t been enough workplace shootings in this country.

“I’m fired? Oh yeah? Hold on. Let me go to my car for a second. I’ll show you whose fired!”

Per the Indianapolis Star, the bill which is awaiting ratification by the governor, does prevent some employees from coming to work strapped.

“The bill exempts schools, universities, prisons, child care centers, domestic violence shelters, invester-owned utilities, and any facility regulated by the federal Department of Homeland Security’s chemical facility anti-terrorism standards. It also exempts workers who transport the developmentally disabled in their personal vehicles.”

Doesn’t say arenas or stadiums, does it? Former Pacers players Jamaal Tinsley and Stephen Jackson just asked to get traded back to Indiana.

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