As you were alerted to yesterday, the United States has gotten off to an alarmingly terrible start in the 2010 Olympics in the only sport that matters: curling.
Things only got worse on Thursday, as both the men’s and women’s teams were defeated once again by identical 7-6 scores against the filthy Danes.
Men’s skip John Shuster, who helped the Americans to the bronze in 2006, has turned all choke artist on us by missing potential game-winning shots in all four matches.
Then again we shouldn’t be surprised considering who the U.S. picked as its honorary captain: 49ers tight end Vernon Davis. Yeah, Davis finally had a breakthrough year this season, but prior to that he was only known for being the guy for whom the phrase “popcorn muscles” was invented.
Most importantly, he was the inspiration for the following legendary rant by Mike Singletary:
I want winners, U.S. Curling. Get Vernon Davis outta here!