From the Aleutians to Key West, there’s one question on every American’s mind: has the U.S. Curling program hit rock bottom? (Also, did you catch the pun there?)
The Americans are currently a combined 0-5 in the Olympics, with the men posting an 0-3 mark and the women going 0 for their first two matches. And just like any other red-blooded American, I’m not going to take this sitting. We’re in last place, people! This is unacceptable! Change needs to come, and it needs to come from the top!
It is clear that we can no longer compete in curling at an international level with these amateurs taking the ice. We need to start anew and get our best curling professionals out there!
There’s no such thing? Crap.
In that case we need to fire the coach. Both of them. I’m sure Coach K could get the best out of this squad. I mean, the men have already given up eight stolen ends!
When will the madness stop? The time to take a stand is now!
Who’s with me?