In one of the way-too-oftenly aired “Family Guy” re-runs, Chris Griffin marvels at how Kevin Costner keeps getting work. I was reminded of this after flipping though the infinite number of channels I have and stumbling across “Swing Vote” on one of my eight Starz channels.
I often pose the same amazement to underwhelming football coaches who keep getting cushy gigs.
Ladies and gentlemen, I deliver you Chan Gailey.
All at once, “How does Chan Gailey keep getting work?”
Late Monday, word began to leak that the Buffalo Bills, jilted at nearly every turn in their recent coaching search, have settled on former Dallas Cowboys head coach Chan Gailey.
I spoke for most Buffalo Bills fans when I threw up in my mouth just now.
Gailey is the definition of a retread coach.
This hire marks the 10th different spot Chan has coached at since 1990. So basically every two years, Chan’s on the move. Which actually is a considerable time of job security when you consider he lasted all of six months as Kansas City’s offensive coordinator before being fired prior to the start of the 2009 season.
Considered a great offensive mind in the 1990s, Gailey has gotten head coaching opportunities before with no real impressive accomplishments on the resume.
As a good ol’ boy (a prerequisite for Dallas coaches not named Parcells), Gailey was handed the reigns of America’s Team following the Barry Switzer years. Gailey coached the Cowboys for two seasons (1998-99) and reached the playoffs in both campaigns, however he failed to win a postseason game.
Sure it’s great and all he made the playoffs, but it has to be said, the 1999 playoff appearance shouldn’t really count. The NFC was ridiculously mediocre that year and the Cowboys made the postseason with an 8-8 record. Not to mention that Troy Aikman and Emmitt Smith-led Dallas team was ousted by Jeff George of all people. That’s right, Jeff “I’m A Walking Punchline” George. It was The Mulleted Cannon’s only postseason victory in his distinguished career.
Gailey then coached at Georgia Tech from 2002 through 2007 and finished with a winning record (44-32), claiming Humanitarian Bowl and Champs Sports Bowl victories. Exciting stuff, no? Didn’t think so. Gailey never beat rival Georgia, never won more than nine games in a season, never went to a BCS game and never finished in the top-25.
After finishing the 2007 regular season 7-5 and suffering a sixth straight defeat to Georgia, Gailey was bought out on the remaining year of his contract.
It’s funny for a guy that’s a supposed offensive whiz and quarterback guru, it took a Wishbone coach from Navy to turn Georgia Tech into an offensive force.
Bills fans heard names like Mike Shanahan, Bill Cowher and Brian Schottenheimer as possible replacements. All passed on the gig. The Bills haven’t been relevant since Doug Flutie, and even then they were a novelty. They haven’t been a real NFL presence since the four straight Super Bowl losses. Apparently, the lure of a head coaching gig in the NFL isn’t enough to entice people to move to damn near Canada.
Word is Gailey’s hire was basically facilitated through Cowher, who lobbied Gailey get the job.
So basically, Cowher stiff armed the Bills, then shat on their chest by recommending Gailey.
Just in case my in-mouth vomit didn’t suffice as to the feelings of Buffalo Bills fans, let me leave it to Rayzer32 from Two Bills Drive, a Buffalo message board.
The post is titled, “After 35 years of being a Bills fan, I have hit rock bottom, and just find it hard to care anymore.”
“When my friend that I share season tickets with asked me if I was going to re-up after the season, I told him of course. The Bills were then trying to lure Shanahan, Cowher, Gruden and Billick to lead this team. Since then the likes of Marty Schott, Brian Schott, Grimm and Harbaugh have said thanks, but no thanks to this team. I have never been embarrassed or ashamed to be a Bills fan until yesterday when I was on my way home to Rochester from Utica when I heard on the radio that Jim Harbaugh turned the Bills down. That was that I thought was rock bottom until today when I hear that Chan Gailey is all but the new HC of my beloved Buffalo Bills. WHAT! Are you kidding me? This is Jauron all over. Another clueless puppet on the sidelines who needs to be checked every 10 minutes for a !@#$ing plus. THIS IS THE BOTTOM!!!!
I will not renew my season tickets and will not purchase any Bills merchandise until this team is competitive again. I think I will have plenty of time to save my money. Chan FREAKING Gailey?? Unbelievable, or no excuse me, this unBILLievable. But in all reality it is BILLiebale. Until Ralph is taking a dirt nap, there is absolutely NO HOPE for this team.
Anyone who wants to say I was never a true Bills fan if I think this way, is a complete idiot. I have been a lifelong Bills fan through thick and thin and this is the worst I have ever seen it. To have so many coaches say no, they have no interest in coaching this team, that in itself is a complete embarrassment to me as a Bills fan. I am still a Bills fan, but only from the couch in my home.
A big F YOU to RW and the Bills franchise. You have ruined what football means to the hard working blue collar WNYers. I am just disgusted. Just one fans opinion.”