Chris Bosh Is Looking Good, Feeling Gorgeous

November 17, 2009 – 12:31 am by TheBaker


Chris Bosh’s birthday isn’t until March 24th.

But Shaquille O’Neal would like to wish the Toronto Raptors’ big man an early happy birthday today.

Because today is RuPaul’s birthday.

And how can we forget The Diesel’s public dissing of Bosh last season?

After Shaq put up 45 points in a Phoenix win over Toronto a year ago, Bosh complained the refs gave O’Neal too much leeway in the lane. Then Shaq did something rare: he located the nearest mic and camera.

“I heard what Chris Bosh said, and that’s strong words coming from the RuPaul of big men. I’m going to do the same thing (in their next meeting) I did before – make him quit. Make ‘em quit and complain. It’s what I do.”

So far this season, Bosh, one of the most coveted potential free agents next summer, is averaging 27.7 points and 11.6 rebounds a game. He’s fifth in the league in scoring and third in rebounding. CB4 and the Raptors opened their season against Shaq and The LeBrons Oct. 28, winning 101-91. 

Bosh finished the game with 21 points and 16 boards.
Shaq finished the game with 12 points and seven boards.

“You can call me he. You can call me she. You can call me Regis and Kathie Lee. I don’t care! Just as long as you call me.”

Luckily, I drafted Bosh with the 8th overall pick in my fantasy league.

And his early season form has inspired me to rename my squad in his honor. My crew is now the RuPaul All-Stars. And if I win this league, I’ll go tranny for a day.

Bosh has scored at least 21 points in every game this season and he’s reached double figures in rebounds in all but two of the Raptors’ 10 contests this season. He’s a flat out stud. Dress him up in a wig and sundress and I’d probably take a run at him.

And at worst, if Shaq is right, then Bosh is a trailblazer (not of the Portland variety). Bosh was on the U.S. gold medal-winning basketball team at the 2008 Olympics in Beijing.

His Olympic success should inspire the likes of other gender-confused athletes such as South Africa’s suspected hermaphrodite runner Caster Semanya

So Chris Bosh, here’s to you: Happy Birthday.

“Work, you better work it girl.
Work, turn to the left.
Work, now turn to the right.
Work, sashay shante.
It don’t matter what you wear.
They’re checkin’ out your savoir faire,
And it don’t matter what you do.
Cause everything looks good on you…Supermodel!”

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