Record after week eight: 91-48, 68-70-1 AS
10 am ET: Morning! It’s time for college gameday and for the first time all season, I’m probably awake. Hooray for early Saturdays! Phillips and I will be watching from (probably) Nick’s in Bloomington, as we watch the Indiana/Iowa game and pray we don’t get our asses kicked. Shout out to Booter, who is spending his Halloween in Madison…I’ll just go ahead and call the hospital up there and tell them to have the alcohol poisoning unit ready. Back later for updates!
12 pm ET
Purdue (3-5) at Wisconsin (5-2) (-7)
Final: Wisconsin 37 Purdue 0
What can you say about Purdue? They aren’t very good. Then again, this seems like a harbinger for IU/Wisconsin next week. We don’t, uh, do very well against them.
Record: 92-48, 69-70-1 AS
Indiana (4-4) at (4) Iowa (8-0) (-17)
Pick: Iowa wins but doesn’t cover
Final: Iowa 42 Indiana 24
The officials did everything they could to screw Indiana. From terrible personal foul calls to overturned touchdowns without evidence and when the official was standing right there to make the call in the first place. Just a horribly officiated game all the way around. Iowa fan and Michigan fan should get together and talk about the bounty of gifts given to them by Big Ten officials this season.
The fourth-quarter collapse wasn’t the fault of the officials. Indiana’s defense melted down and then the offense followed suit. They weren’t mentally tough enough to hold a lead, which is a hallmark of these Bill Lynch teams. He doesn’t create a winning mentality, and that is the only thing from this loss that was his fault. It’s not his fault our safeties bit so badly on every play-action fake in the second half. Sure Thomas and Taylor made some plays, but they blew some big ones late as well.
And the tackling. Wow. IU has to be the worst tackling team in the conference except for maybe Purdue.
No, I can’t hang this loss on Bill Lynch. At least not completely. His teams DO melt down in crunch time, especially on the road. No matter what he says about the situation, that’s the reality. However, the playcalling was right and the players simply didn’t execute down the stretch. Whether or not the dumb plays in the fourth quarter are the result of coaching or lack of talent or whatever, that was still a bad loss. Any time you get six turnovers, you have no excuse for losing, especially by 18 points.
Maybe one day we’ll get it right. This is a much more horrible feeling than just being the worst team in the conference. We’re not. We’re actually competitive, but we keep screwing it up. I hope this is a sign of development and not a fatal flaw for the future.
Oh, and that last garbage TD by Iowa cost me a win against the spread, you f*ckers.
Record: 93-48, 69-71-1 AS
12:21 pm ET
(25) Mississippi (5-2) at Auburn (5-3) (+4.5)
Final: Auburn 33 Mississippi 20
I would like to formally apologize to Auburn for saying they might be done. I didn’t think they had it in them to ruthlessly expose every single hole in Mississippi’s game, but they did, and did it well. They even managed to hide yet another crappy game by Chris Todd by running all over the Rebels. No matter how underwhelming Ole Miss has been, this is a good win for Auburn. The Tigers are very early in the rebuilding process, have no depth on defense, and have Chris Todd and Kodi Burns running the offense. That’s a lot of handicaps for one team, and they’re STILL bowl eligible.
As for Ole Miss, this type of disappointment isn’t totally their fault. They never should have been ranked that high to start the season in the first place. They are a perfect argument as to why there shouldn’t be any polls of any kind until at least week three of the season. There is no way pollsters can tell who will be good and who won’t when teams go eight months between games. It’s a waste of everyone’s time to pretend like anyone knows anything about what will happen to these teams.
As for Jevan Snead, well…at least he’s got next year. That is, if he doesn’t play so badly that he loses his starting job soon. Yeesh. Another dogshit performance from him.
Record: 93-49, 69-72-1 AS
1 pm ET
Southern Mississippi (5-3) at (18) Houston (6-1) (-7)
How about that for a Case Keenum showcase? Nearly 600 passing yards and 750 total yards PLUS it was a very entertaining shootout. I would be in full-blown love with this Houston team if it weren’t for that f*cking UTEP game. Why the f*ck did they have to lose? That’s got to eat at this team after every win. They’d be a legit BCS-Buster, but instead they MIGHT win Conference USA. Might.
Record: 94-49, 69-72-2 AS
3:30 pm ET
The World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party
Georgia (4-3) at (1) Florida (7-0) (-15)
Final: Florida 41 Georgia 17
Georgia fan has to know by now that their defense is a huge liability, right? It’s barely even Big Ten caliber, let alone SEC caliber. After all, I’m an Indiana alum. I know from shitty defense.
You have to love the hate involved with this rivalry. Florida completely owns Georgia, who has only won this game three times since 1996. Urban Meyer totally owns Mark Richt. And Georgia has to resort to cheesy full-team celebrations and black uniforms they’ve never worn before to get fired up for this game. You’d think playing your biggest in-conference rival would be enough, but no. To top it all off, Georgia got its ass kicked for the second time in a row after that dumb-ass celebration thing/win two years ago. The lameness has just oozed from Georgia all year, and it finally all came to a head in Jacksonville.
Record: 95-49, 70-72-2 AS
Central Michigan (7-1) at Boston College (5-3) (-5.5)
Pick: Central Michigan
Final: BC 31 CMU 10
Sigh. It’s not like BC is even that good, Dan LeFevour. Especially when CMU didn’t turn the ball over at any point. But the BC defense locked down on what seemed to be unlockdownable, and my faith has been shaken once again. Weak.
Record: 95-50, 70-73-2 AS
Kansas (5-2) at Texas Tech (5-3) (-6.5)
Pick: Texas Tech
Final: Texas Tech 42 Kansas 21
Tech quarterbacks are clearly having issues if the team wins 42-21 and it’s running back Baron Batch that supplies all the offense on the ground. As a team TTU only passed for 253 yards. That should be their first-half total! Depressing stuff all around.
Record: 96-50, 71-73-2 AS
4 pm ET
UC,LA (3-4) at Oregon State (4-3) (-10)
Pick: Oregon State
Final: Oregon State 26 UC,LA 19
Sometimes the most painful games to watch are the ones in which your team is really close to winning, all they need is one more key score, but they never get it, and you know that there’s no way they’ll win the game. Such was probably the experience for Booter yesterday as he watched this game. I can’t believe I picked Oregon State to cover when Mike Riley teams have issues with being favored.
Record: 97-50, 71-74-2 AS
4:30 pm ET
(12) Penn State (7-1) at Northwestern (5-3) (+15)
Pick: Penn State
Final: PSU 34 Northwestern 13
Before Northwestern fan makes excuses about Mike Kafka getting hurt in this game, let’s just all remind them that there was no way they were beating Penn State even if Peyton Manning was their quarterback. Sure, it was 13-13 at the half. But that was due to early-game incompetence from Penn State, not because Northwestern was doing such a good job.
Record: 98-50, 72-74-2 AS
7:45 pm ET
(22) South Carolina (6-2) at Tennessee (3-4) (-6)
Pick: South Carolina
Final: Tennessee 31 USC 13
One of these teams was going to have a ton of turnovers, and that would be the difference in the game, but I never thought it would be South Carolina though. Crompton was terrible again, but so was Stephen Garcia, and the ‘Cocks fumbled like 57 times. You knew both defenses would be able to handle the opposing shitty quarterback, but I don’t think anyone expected it to go like this. Not sure what to think of UT’s uniforms either.
Record: 98-51, 72-75-2 AS
8 pm ET
Battle for the Rag
Tulane (2-5) at (9) Louisiana State (6-1) (-36)
Final: LSU 42 Tulane 0
Nothing to see here, folks. Move along.
Record: 99-51, 73-75-2
(3) Texas (7-0) at (14) Oklahoma State (6-1) (+8.5)
Pick: Oklahoma State
Final: Texas 41 OSU 14
Yeah, thanks for that, Oklahoma State. Way to show up for your biggest game of the season.
Texas did what I thought they should to to win, though: put the game in Zac Robinson’s hands and make him throw to win it. The Cowboys only ran for 134 teams yards with a 3.1 ypc average, and Robinson rewarded that strategy further with four interceptions, two of which I think were returned for touchdowns.
Colt McCoy wasn’t even good, either. He just didn’t do anything to lose the game for Texas and let OSU beat itself. Pretty boring stuff all around. Who knew McCoy’s senior season would be this average?
Record: 99-52, 73-76-2
(5) Southern California (6-1) at (10) Oregon (6-1) (+3)
Final: Oregon 47 USC 20
Wow, was that a hall of fame beating. 613 total yards. 391 rushing yards. Even a 53-yard average on punts because the Ducks only had to punt once the entire night. Kinda wish I hadn’t bothered to DVR this game now.
USC looked totally unprepared, making it pretty clear their early-season success meant they were going to have to come back to the pack later on. The team is too young and inexperienced to maintain the success USC has had.
As for Oregon, that was the best offensive performance they’ve ever had. They may have gained more yards or scored more points, but this performance was near-perfect and it couldn’t have come in a bigger game. I’m incredibly impressed with the way they played.
Now the goal for them is to not choke with a BCS berth in their sights. They don’t have any scary games left, but every single one of them is against a team that could have one good night and f*ck Oregon’s season up. It’s all on the Ducks’ shoulders these last four games. After last night’s beating, every one of those is a trap game.
Record after week nine: 99-53, 73-77-2 AS