Man, Detroit really sucks. We’ve been over this before and the entire country is completely aware of that fact, but now there’s even more evidence of the Motor City’s awfulness.
On Sunday during the Detroit marathon, three runners died. Three!!! This wasn’t just some old guy who shouldn’t have been running, or some random middle-aged dude suffering a heart attack. Three people died.
Daniel Langdon, who was 36-years-old, collapsed at 9:02 a.m. between the 11 and 12-mile markers. Then Rick Brown, 65, collapsed at 9:17 a.m., right by where Langdon had gone down. Following that, at 9:18 a.m., Jon Fenlon collapsed just after finishing the half-marathon. Fenlon was just 26-years-old.
So three people died during a gigantic marathon in a major (or formerly major) American city. I’m pretty sure there were fewer deaths during the last marathon held in Kabul.
So to recap the past year for people from Detroit:
-Financial collapse kills virtually all industry in the town, including automakers.
-Detroit Pistons trade team’s heart and soul, Chauncey Billups, to the Denver Nuggets in exchange for Allen Iverson. Pistons regret move immediately.
-Detroit Lions go 0-16.
-Michigan State loses in NCAA basketball championship game to North Carolina at Ford Field.
-Detroit Red Wings lose at home to the Pittsburgh Penguins in game seven of the 2009 NHL Finals.
-Detroit Tigers collapse late in baseball season, are forced to play one-game playoff with Minnesota Twins, lose after phenomenal game and miss the postseason.
-The Tigers have to pay a slowly decomposing corpse resembling Magglio Ordonez $18 million in 2010 after he gets enough at-bats to qualify for an automatic extension.
-Lions start 2009 season 1-5 and their prized franchise quarterback is now injured.
-Three people die while running on the streets of the city.
So, yeah, I think we can all agree that Detroit sucks.