Fail To The Redskins

October 30, 2009 – 3:35 am by Hickey

Every year ESPN The Magazine releases an issue ranking all teams in the four major sports leagues from first to worst. So far the Washington Football Club seems like it is in a single-minded pursuit to claim the prize as the worst in all of sports — and even if Daniel Snyder’s organization somehow isn’t bestowed with this honor, there is no questioning that his franchise is the douchiest in North America.

The nickname alone had already given the team a nice running start. I will say that I think it was ridiculous for the NCAA to force teams to get rid of Native American nicknames and mascots, and that I find nothing offensive about teams named the Indians, Braves, Blackhawks, Fighting Sioux, et al.

But the Redskins? Really? Pretty hard to argue that’s paying homage to anyone. I don’t think the New Jersey Fighting Dagos would go over well in the Italian community, for instance. (Furthermore, how effed up is it that a team in Washington with a cool name, the Bullets, is the one that was forced to change itself to the Wizards while people still don’t bat an eye about the Redskins?)

Of course, that is completely irrelevant to the matter of Mr. Snyder’s complete and utter douchery.

There was the story from earlier in the season of the team suing season ticket-holders who could no longer afford their payments because of the economic downturn. One of them was a sweet old lady who had been going to games since 1962.

That karma carried over into an absolute joke of a season that has seen Washington lose to both Detroit and Kansas City, both of which claimed their first win of the year over the Skins. (And in the Lions’ case, their first win in two years).

Head coach Jim Zorn was stripped of his playcalling duties, with the ostensible reasoning being that no head coach would accept being so badly emasculated and resign. Instead, Zorn gave his bosses the bird and will continue standing on the sidelines with a headset on.

Naturally, those hardy souls who still shell out the bucks to see this sad-sack team in action are hardly pleased with what they have seen. Thus, some expressions of discontent might be expected.

Not anymore.

Washington has now banned fans from bringing signs into the stadium. Skins COO Douche Baggington David Donovan said that the sign ban is a matter of  “fan safety and comfort.”

Hmm, that’s odd. I don’t remember you trying to protect fan safety and comfort when those signs were conveying a positive message.

Wait a second, an executive figure in Washington spewing out a line of complete bullshit? I don’t believe that’s ever happened in the history of the District.

Since signs are now banned in the stadium, I welcome any Washington Football Club fans out there to make their own here. A suggested starter:

BAN THIS, MOTHERF*CKER

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  1. 6 Responses to “Fail To The Redskins”

  2. Were the Bullets forced to change their name, or did the owner at the time( Abe Pollen?)choose to do so? Just askin’.

    By LR. on Oct 30, 2009

  3. Zorn losing his playcalling duties is even more of a joke since he lost them to a guy who very recently was calling Bingo.

    By Cousin Charlie on Oct 31, 2009

  4. Abe Pollin changed the name of the Bullits after the prime minister of Isreal was killed because he thought the name engendered violence.

    By Adams Moegan on Nov 2, 2009

  5. Abe Pollin changed the name of the Bullits after the prime minister of Isreal was killed because he thought the name engendered violence.

    By Adams Moegan on Nov 2, 2009

    Please. What a disgusting reason. Who cares about Israel’s prime minister when there have been hundreds if not thousands of shooting deaths in the district over the last several decades

    By Jimmy on Nov 3, 2009

  6. The Bullets name changed when Chicago was successful. The team did not want to be seen as the effeminate version of the Bulls

    By Bull Stuff on Nov 3, 2009

  7. Old Man Pollin changed the name because the assassinated Israeli PM was a personal friend of his.

    http://espn.go.com/page2/wash/s/closer/020316.html

    By Derrick on Nov 3, 2009

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