Back to the Future: Packers Sign Running Back Ahman Green

October 22, 2009 – 12:53 am by TheRiot

ahman-greenThe Green Bay Packers have plenty of issues this season.  They’re 3-2, can’t seem to keep quarterback Aaron Rodgers on his feet and commit more penalties on a per-game basis than any team in the league. Exciting stuff.

Most recently they came up with a void at running back after third-stringer DeShawn Wynn hurt his knee. The solution? Why, sign free agent and former Packer Ahman Green of course.

Is Green going to see the field? Who knows. He’s a four-time Pro Bowler but he’s also a 32-year old running back the Houston Texans cut in February. He’s also a mere 46 yards from breaking Green Bay’s franchise rushing mark, which Jim Taylor holds with 8,207 yards.

So this got us thinking: When was the last time Ahman Green was actually good? Answer: 2006, when he ran for 1,059 yards in 14 games with the Packers.

Next question: When was Green at his peak? Answer: 2003, when he ran for 1,883 yards and 15 touchdowns in 16 games.

The Packers surely don’t expect Green to be in that kind of form. Maybe he can just help out starter Ryan Grant. But hey, just think if we could all turn back the clock to 2003. Let’s see what else was cool back then…

Going to war with Iraq: Seriously, this was fashionable back then. Let that sink in for a moment. Then-Secretary of State Colin Powell basically ruined his reputation by urging the U.N. Security Council to move against Iraq because it possessed (imaginary) weapons of mass destruction. Hey, how’d that turn out?

Arnold Schwarzenegger: In fairness, he’s pretty much always cool. Have you seen True Lies? But this is the year he was elected Governator of California. Again, let this sink in.

The Lord of the Rings: The popular movie series nailed it in 2003 with The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King.
Also in theatres: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, The Matrix: Reloaded and Finding Nemo.

Capturing Saddam Hussein: Who doesn’t like capturing a cruel dictator when he’s hiding out in a hole in the ground? Good times all around.

Harley Davidson: The iconic motorcycle manufacturer celebrated it’s 100th anniversary in 2003 with a big ‘ol rally in Milwaukee.

50 Cent: His massive debut album Get Rich or Die Tryin’ came out in 2003. It featured such classics as “P.I.M.P.” and “In da Club.” Awesome.
Also sort of relevant in 2003: Clay Aiken, Limp Bizkit (yes, they were still around and annoying people) and Nelly.

Having Michael Jackson in the news: Shockingly Michael Jackson was all over the news (I wonder what that’s like). He was booked on suspicion of multiple counts of child molestation.

iTunes: Apple launched the service, which sold 10 million songs within its first four months of operation. It was very popular in the good ol’ days.

NASA crashing stuff: The space probe Galileo made a fiery dive into the atmosphere of Jupiter. That reminds me of something in the news recently…

Global pandemic scares: Everyone on the planet flipped their sh*t over a possible world outbreak of both Asian avian influenza (or bird flu) and Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS).

OK, so I guess when you consider those last four things I guess the world hasn’t changed all that much.

Welcome back Ahman.

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  1. 2 Responses to “Back to the Future: Packers Sign Running Back Ahman Green”

  2. I was delivering pizza in the Milwaukee area during Harley’s 100th anniversary. I never wanted to ram into so many motorcycles before.

    By Cousin Charlie on Oct 22, 2009

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