What’s The Big Oktober-Fuss?

September 23, 2009 – 12:01 am by TheBaker


Talk about an identity crisis.

Germany’s former national team goalkeeper Jens Lehmann was suspended by his team, Stuttgart, because the goalie was seen at Oktoberfest only hours after Stuttgart lost 2-0 to Cologne.

The club benched Lehmann because he didn’t tell the team he was going. Lehmann is 39-years old.  He was then reprimanded for not taking out the garbage or emptying the dishwasher? We wonder if the club will also withhold sex over this transgression.

This isn’t the first time this year high-profile soccer players have been sharply punished for postgame boozing.

In late March, Allan McGregor and Barry Ferguson, Scotland’s captain, were banned from ever representing their homeland again after the two went out boozing heavily following a 3-0 loss to the Netherlands in a World Cup qualifier.

(Rumor has it, the two traitors chose to drink a Guinness rather than a single-malt scotch.)

But come on, this is Germany. This is Oktoberfest. In a country where beer is fed intravenously and put in baby’s bottles, its shocking das club would come down so hard.

How unpatriotic.

Lehmann, a former stalwart and irritating bitch for England’s Arsenal, explained he went to the beer festival as part of a charity event.

While there for charity, Lehmann told the Bild newspaper he drank “only a half Radler (a beer and lemonade shandy) and then mineral water after that. I drove myself home later on.”

No doubt, Lehmann loaded up on pretzels, Schweinsbraten and Sterckerlfisch to soak up his shandy.

The real reason Stuttgart suspended Lehmann is probably because he admitted to drinking the German equivalent to a Mike’s Hard Lemonade and then washed it down with mineral water. What a pussy. I don’t think the fellas in the clip below (after the jump) would take too kindly to that, Jens.

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  1. 2 Responses to “What’s The Big Oktober-Fuss?”

  2. Somewhere in Cleveland, Eric Mangini is applauding with tears in his eyes.

    By LR. on Sep 23, 2009

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