News Of The Day!

September 16, 2009 – 2:22 am by Hickey


Imagine, if you will, this post being presented with ’40s newsreel music and ’40s newsreel guy doing the reading. Only using modern phrases, because I’m too lazy to look up some hep ’40s slang.

Now presenting…. The News of the Day!

“Anger in Buffalo”

Just yesterday we told you about Buffalo’s latest meltdown on Monday Night Football, and how several Bills fans have had their fill.

It seems that one Bills fan really had his fill, though, vandalizing the lawn of Leodis McKelvin, aka the guy who most recently cost the Bills a football game. The score and an obscenity — we’re not sure which one it was — were painted on McKelvin’s lawn shortly after the game.

It seems that Bills fans, typically known being friendly and thankful that there is even an NFL team in their city, have finally snapped after the latest meltdown. We hate to see what Dick Jauron’s yard will look like at the end of the season…

“Anger in the Bronx”

The Yankees and Blue Jays weren’t having any fun playing baseball, so they decided to brawl instead.

“Shirley you jest”

I don’t make it a point to read the blog of Paul Shirley, the Jack Haley of the modern era. However, I stumbled across his Tuesday entry on, which makes the argument that no one under the age of 50 should be allowed to choose The Beatles as their favorite band.

He writes:

I’d much rather listen to Oasis than The Beatles. Oasis, or any
band that came after The Beatles, learned from The Beatles, improving
on their work by listening to, building on and perfecting the styles
pioneered by The Beatles. The result: The arrangements used by Oasis
are more complex, the sound is denser, the production is better…

All of these improvements can be chalked up to chronological order.
Just as Dean Koontz came after Bram Stoker, Oasis came after The
Beatles. Each had the advantage of superior technology, in addition to
the natural advantage of the chance to learn from their forebears. The
chance to, well, stand on someone’s shoulders. 

So, by this logic, we can ascertain that Paul Shirley is a better basketball player than Pete Maravich, since he improved on the talent displayed by Pistol Pete by studying it and showing up on the scene decades later.

Who could argue with that? It’s rock-solid stuff. Socrates would be proud.

And that’s… the news of the day!

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  1. 3 Responses to “News Of The Day!”

  2. I love The Beatles, but I understand Shirley’s argument.

    However, how can anyone say Oasis made improvements on The Beatles when they essentially did their damnedest to make every song sound as if it was written by The Beatles? Or by The Shitty Beatles anyway. Dumb.

    By Red on Sep 16, 2009

  3. Did he just compare Dean Koontz and Bram Stoker? He couldn’t pull Stephen King out of his ass for that one? And let’s be real for a minute: Oasis is the worst good band in the world.

    By McD on Sep 16, 2009

  4. Oasis sucks. BULLY!

    By Cousin Charlie on Sep 16, 2009

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