Good Start To The Season

September 7, 2009 – 1:28 pm by McD

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It’s probably always seemed that way to the rest of the league, but now it’s clear to me too: my Chargers are that good team full of law-breakers and criminals. That’s not actually the case, of course, but it sure as hell is how the team seems to everyone else.

The mention of this latest story about Shawne Merriman beating up Tila Tequila always brings with it re-telling of previous recent Charger’s troubles. Linebackers getting shot multiple times by the police, Vincent Jackson’s DUI, Philip Rivers’ mouth, Luis Castillo’s steroids. It all comes back because that’s what the team has become.

So, as a fan, let me just say this: At least bring us the championships that come with being a team full of criminals and ne’er-do-wells. Those Miami Hurricanes teams at least got one title, so did Bobby Bowden’s FSU teams. And sure those are college teams, but the premise remains. When there’s a team that seems like the prison team from Necessary Roughness to everyone else, it’s required that team win a title and be the villains of the league for at least a year. And just because Philly signed Vick doesn’t mean they’re that team. It’s us, damn it. And I want my championship. I want to cry and man-hug my buddies and wear my jersey for a solid week. I want it all. So if we’re still going down this road, Chargers, then f*cking win. And win it all.

Slightly encouraging update: Several papers are reporting Merriman was really trying to keep Ms. Tequila from driving drunk, hence why she spazzed out and yet still managed to call the cops without a ruckus in the background. Could you describe the ruckus, sir? I don’t know about you, but I feel loads better…

This begs one simple question: If everyone on the planet wants to slap around a certain slutty chick, and then it actually happens, is it, in fact, a crime? Would a jury ever convict someone of beating up the aforementioned annoying attention whore?*

*Rumors and Rants in no way condones violence of any sort towards women. That said, in Tila Tequila’s case we’re real close to considering an exception to that rule.
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  1. 2 Responses to “Good Start To The Season”

  2. Choking Tila Teuila. Is that wrong ?

    By LR. on Sep 7, 2009

  3. Subtle Breakfast Club and Chris Rock references all in one post? Well done, sir.

    By Red on Sep 8, 2009

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