Danica Patrick Is Staying In IndyCar, Boring

August 25, 2009 – 1:02 pm by Ryan Phillips

danica-patrick

Apparently there was an upswell of rumors recently that Danica Patrick was going to jump ship from IndyCar to NASCAR. Those rumors can be put to rest and we can all stop holding out collective breath because Patrick isn’t going anywhere.

Danica recently told SpeedTV that she is in the final stages of completing a deal to stay with Andretti-Green racing, and team owner Michael Andretti claims a deal is close.

In more interesting news, Patrick has, once again, proven herself to be one of the more boring quasi-attractive women on the planet. She turned down a lucrative offer to pose for Playboy. She claimed in a radio interview on Monday that she “definitely said no to that.”

Oh, what, like you’re too good for Playboy Danica? You’re just so famous and good at your job that you wouldn’t lower yourself to the level of posing naked for a little extra exposure? Are you trying to say that people like Heidi Montag are just worthless tramps looking to make a buck off their fledgling level of infamy? Because I’d really like for you to be saying that…since it would be awesome.

What am I thinking, it’s Danica Patrick. She couldn’t be more boring if there were SAT questions stapled to her forehead. She’d never do something cool like pose naked or rip another annoying famous person. Even her “sexy” photo shoots are boring.

So enjoy having her around for a few more years IndyCar fans!

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