Last week, we touched on the Indiana Pacers’, and more specifically Larry Bird’s affinity for an endangered species – the caucasian American professional basketball player.
A month ago, Bird drafted North Carolina’s Tyler Hansbrough to bring the team’s white count to a league-leading six. (Jeff Foster, Troy Murphy, Travis Diener, Josh McRoberts, and Mike Dunleavy are the others.) What’s more impressive than the Pacers putting together a team resembling the first Continental Congress is the fact they’ve stocked their squad with non-European vanilla.
(Serbian Rasho Nesterovic played with the Pacers last year, but is an unrestricted free agent and not expected back – though he’s white, so you never know.)
Utah can match the Pacers with six melanin-challenged players, but three of them are foreigners (Mehmet Okur/Turkey, Andrei Kirilenko/Russia and Kyrylo Fesenko/Ukraine). The Lakers, Timberwolves, Suns and Kings each have five white players, though again, include foreigners in the count.
Now, we get word out of Boston that Bird might be looking to add another glass of chardonnay to the collection.
Indiana and Boston are talking about a sign-and-trade deal involving swingman Marquis Daniels. The Pacers chose not to commit $7.3 million to the versatile Daniels, and the Celtics are ready to pounce. Both teams are said to prefer the sign-and-trade route, so who is Bird asking for in return?
Did you even have to ask? Rumor has it, Brian Scalabrine would be coming to the Heartland. Shocking, I know. So now you can add a slice of ginger bread to that loaf of Sunbeam.
Instead of paying a guy coming off a season in which he posted career-highs in points (13.6) and rebounds (4.6) per game, Bird has chosen to allocate $3.4 million on a career bench fixture. Scalabrine’s career averages: 3.5 points, 2.3 rebounds and 0.9 assists. Sweet.
The Pacers already look like a YMCA rec team, if this deal goes through, they’d easily get confused with the University of Vermont Catamounts. Not to mention, they’re automatically Sonia Sotomayor’s least favorite NBA team.
To his credit, Bird did sign former Denver Nugget Dahntay Jones this offseason. But Dahntay went to Duke, so he might as well be white.