Tony Romo Has Got It All Figured Out

June 16, 2009 – 12:06 pm by Ryan Phillips

Tony Romo

We may have said a lot about Tony Romo over the past few years on this blog (we also may not have, but to tell you the truth I’m way too lazy to check) but one thing is for sure, you can’t say he’s not perceptive.

According to the San Antonio Express-News, the Dallas Cowboys quarterback is focused on limiting his turnovers in 2009. Romo turned the ball over a whopping 21 times last season. The two-time Pro Bowler, whose personal Kryptonite seems to be crunch time, threw 14 interceptions and lost a career-high seven fumbles in just 13 games in 2008.

When asked how he would accomplish his goal of not crushing the team’s hopes of success, Romo dropped some serious knowledge.

“You just don’t turn the ball over.”

Now there’s a pearl of wisdom if I’ve ever heard one. I hope other NFL quarterbacks are listening and taking notes. Please, go on Tony!

“There’s no change other than the fact you hold it with two hands when people are around you.”

Holy shit! Two hands?!? That’s fucking brilliant! But how could you ever do such a thing? That non-throwing hand is so important, how could one possibly use it to help secure the ball? And doing it in traffic? Tony, you genius! Please, continue.

“You don’t throw it to the other colored jersey.”

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What you talkin’ bout Tony? Don’t throw it to guys with different colored jerseys? Shit, I guess that would limit turnovers. This guy is amazing, how did he finally figure this stuff out? We need more Romo-based learnin’.

“If it’s questionable, you probably hold on to it, or you run, or you get rid of it out of bounds.”

Wow. This is gonna revolutionize the game. If you don’t have an open receiver, hold the ball. Or run. Or throw it out of bounds. But, wait Tony, there are no covered receivers or opposing players out of bounds, who is gonna catch the ball if you throw it there? I don’t get it. Guess he’s just thinking on a higher plane than I could ever hope to be. I defer to his superior knowledge on all things. All hail Romodamus.

OK, so Tony Romo has been a starting quarterback in the NFL for the better part of three seasons. He’s been to the pro bowl twice (2006 and 2007) and has a career quarterback rating of 94.7. He’s just now figuring out the most basic ways to cut down on his turnovers? How is that possible?

I guess I should have expected this much from a guy who couldn’t make it work with hot ass Carrie Underwood but continues to date the scintillating conversationalist that is, the now chunky, Jessica Simpson.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

  1. 6 Responses to “Tony Romo Has Got It All Figured Out”

  2. I don’t think he’s real bright.

    By LR. on Jun 16, 2009

  3. The comments on that Carrie Underwood post you linked to make me ashamed to be female.

    By Red on Jun 16, 2009

  4. Romo’s not an intellectual giant, but that’s how Jerry likes his QBs…

    By Kurt on Jun 16, 2009

  5. Yeah, I mean Drew Bledsoe and Troy Aikman aren’t exactly mental powerhouses, but to be fair, they each suffered multiple concussions. Can’t wait to see what Romo is like in a decade.

    By Phillips on Jun 16, 2009

  6. Many boys like to wear the nba basketball jerseys when they are playing the basketball.It seems that it is cool and popular.

    By nba basketball jerseys on Jul 17, 2009

  1. 1 Trackback(s)

  2. Jun 16, 2009: Lancelot Links: Top Sports Links | For the public, by The Public

Post a Comment