Space Cowboy

June 19, 2009 – 11:59 am by Hickey

Some people call him Maurice. Some people call him the Gangster of Retardation. 

Perhaps inspired by Michael Vick’s recent release from prison, disgraced former Ohio State star Maurice Clarett has appealed to Ohio Gov. Ted Strickland for an early release from jail. Clarett is doing time for a holdup and police chase, and is somehow convinced that he can get another chance to play in the NFL despite the fact he has never actually played a down in the league.

That’s right, Maurice’s lawyer says teams have been in contact and are interested in knowing when his client will be out of the clink. While the presence of the Bengals, Raiders and Cowboys at least makes that a feasible possibility, we’re just guessing this guy is even more full of shit than most lawyers. (Just kidding, Booter).

As expected, the prosecutor who put Clarett behind bars (it must have been an easy case based on the contents of Clarett’s car, with the most damming piece of evidence being the lint roller) is fighting to make sure that Mo doesn’t go anywhere until 2010, which is what the sentence calls for.

I don’t mean to rain on Mo’s parade here, but I’m thinking that his twin hopes of early release and playing in the NFL are about as realistic as TheBaker and I’s hopes of appearing together on the cover of GQ.

Which is to say, it’s totally going to happen.

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