Ronaldo’s Favorite Parisian Artwork Is Not In The Louvre

June 13, 2009 – 11:01 am by Matthew Glenesk

picassoThis week, Real Madrid dined on duck – and his name was Scrooge McDuck. That’s the only explanation. The Spanish soccer giants must have seduced Uncle Scrooge, got the combination to his vault and then cooked the son of a bitch.

Currently second fiddle to Barcelona in Spain, Real Madrid splashed out roughly $223 million to land Kaka and Cristiano Ronaldo. That’s a lot for just two players – especially during a worldwide economic crunch. But Kaka and Ronaldo are not just any players. They are two of the top-three players in the world.

So are they worth the price tag? FIFA president Sepp Blatter seems to think so.

“Almost 10 years ago, Luis Figo went from Barcelona to Real Madrid for 37 million pounds. At the same time a Picasso painting was sold for 100 million pounds at Sotherbys in London. But they hide that away and no one can see it.

“A football player is everywhere for everyone to see. They are stars. You can’t say it’s too much money because you have to make it relevant to everything else.”franck-ribery

Based on that quote, the Brits at The Sun ran with this headline: “Ronaldo is footie’s Picasso.”

Actually fellas. If any soccer star is Picasso, it would have to be Bayern Munich and France midfielder Franck Ribery, who coincidentally enough is being trumped as potential replacement for Ronaldo at Manchester United. I’ve done this before, but just look at him. Ribery definitely looks like something Picasso would have painted.

Ronaldo is more like landscape art of sunset over an ocean. Beautiful and majestic. Not some disjointed rearranged Cubism portrait. Or if we want, we can just post shots of him laying around a club while Paris Hilton shoots beavers to the world.

Either way, it’s a beautiful thing. And here’s some more creepball video footage.

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  1. 3 Responses to “Ronaldo’s Favorite Parisian Artwork Is Not In The Louvre”

  2. and Fernando Torres is an angelic Raphael.

    (can i have a mancrush and still claim no homo?)

    By gallier on Jun 14, 2009

  3. I like the Scrooge McDuck reference. God I want to go watch Duckwing Duck now.

    Ribery would be as good as replacement for Ronaldo as United can come by. Note on his “Picasso” face-he was in a tragic car accident as a kid.

    By Sean Heffernan on Jun 17, 2009

  4. It’s actually Darkwing Duck. And one can’t forget Launchpad McQuack.

    By TheBaker on Jun 17, 2009

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