Barry Zito sucks. There, I said it (again). Since signing a seven-year, $126 million contract with the San Francisco Giants, he’s put up some gaudy numbers. And not in the good way. In 2007, Zito finished 11-13 with a 4.53 ERA, before going 10-17 in 2008 with a 5.15 ERA.
So what, if anything is going to save poor Barry from the hell that has become his baseball life? Well, Twitter, of course.
Zito has started the new season 0-2 with a 5.24 ERA and a 1.39 WHIP, but he’s shockingly coming off of two straight solid starts. On Monday night he told Gwen Knapp of the San Francisco Chronicle that the key to his recent success was that he’s tried to go back to being his old self.
“I told myself going into this year: ‘You know what? I’m just going to do stuff like I used to do it before (in Oakland),'” he said. “When I won the Cy Young Award, I was doing so much stuff off the field, just fun interviews and all kinds of stuff. When I came here, I was like, ‘Shut all that down.'”
Knapp, who is clearly drinking the Kool-Aid on this one, claims that Zito being Zito automatically gives him a decent shot at at least a 15-10 record. Riiiiiight. Then she talks about how his Twitter page has given the lefty a great outlet for his creative side. Like, say for posting obscene photos of Gingerbread.
So yes, Twitter will cure what ails Barry Zito.
Um, Gwen? Barry? I don’t want to, ya know, correct you guys in front of all these people or anything, but I’ve got a thought I want to run by you: Maybe Barry has sucked because the Giants gave $18 million per year to a guy whose fastball tops out at 87 mph on a fast gun with a gusting wind behind him. Maybe this was always coming. Maybe, when hitters can just wait for a poorly located fastball (and there have been quite a few over the past two seasons) it doesn’t matter if your curveball defies physics. Again, just a thought.