The Balls On These Guys

April 12, 2009 – 11:01 pm by Ryan Phillips

Several times over the past few months I’ve opined about the San Diego Padres and how they’ve basically given their fans a huge shit sandwich over the past two years. And after all that, after doing everything they could to alienate the fanbase, kill local support and piss me off to no end, they have the balls to start 5-2 and sit alone at the top of the National League West after the season’s first week.

Assholes.

Seriously, why are they doing this to me? Yesterday they roughed up the reigning NL Cy Young Award winner to finish off a sweep of the Giants. The barrage against Tim Lincecum was led by youngsters Chase Headley (2-4, HR, 2 runs 2 RBI) and Nick Hundley (4-4, 2B, 3B, run, RBI). Add that to Chris Young’s strong effort on the bump (7.0, 4 hits, 1 run, 0 earned, 7 strikeouts) and the Padres looked like an actual major league team, not a group of AAA players up for a tryout with the big boys.

I know it’s early, it isn’t like I’m saying “Wow, we’re good this year!!!” or anything, I’m just pointing out that they’re playing good baseball right off the top. And it really pisses me off because I know what these jerks are doing. They’re just trying to suck me in before completely collapsing and playing the awful brand of baseball that’s inhabited “America’s Finest City” for years now.

They’re just waiting for me to buy in and start touting them as this year’s version of the Rays before they finally show their true colors. They’re Lucy with the football and they want me to play Charlie Brown. Well this time I ain’t biting. I’m just gonna sit here and wait it out quietly.

I’m not falling for it this time. But go ahead Padres, keep trying to tempt me by playing great baseball (all the way until October 4th please) I’m not budging.

Nope, it’ll never happen.

Seriously.

What?

Stop looking at me like that.

No, I am not wearing a Peavy jersey under this shirt!

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  1. 7 Responses to “The Balls On These Guys”

  2. The Ewing Theory can’t possibly apply when a team dumps a washed up HOF-er for no reason, can it?

    By McD on Apr 13, 2009

  3. interesting thought McD, you might be on to something here

    By Pablo on Apr 13, 2009

  4. As my grandpa said yesterday, they are merely adequate, and will no doubt play as such soon enough.

    By Red on Apr 13, 2009

  5. Is that a bandwagon I see you getting on???

    By MamaD on Apr 13, 2009

  6. If you must succumb to your band-wagon desires, might I suggest a classic Pahds jersey, such as a mid-80s brownie? No one will call you bandwagon then.

    By Dr. JwB on Apr 13, 2009

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