It’s Good To Know I Have Jerry Angelo’s Ear

April 2, 2009 – 10:47 pm by Matthew Glenesk

If I designed the interior of Halas Hall, statues and shrines of Walter Payton, Gale Sayers, Dick Butkus and Mike Singletary would greet you. Portraits of Richard Dent, Mike Ditka and Bill George would cover the hallways. 

Sid Luckman’s photo might be somewhere in the cafeteria. Headshots of the rest of the Bears former quarterbacks would rightly be tossed in a bathroom reserved for offensive linemen the morning after Taco Tuesdays.

As a 26-year old male, many of my friends worry when my dream recaps begin with details of a 25-year old strong armed fella instead of some sorority chick or one of the new girls Phillips thinks I should work into my “rotation.”

For weeks I’ve been fantasizing about how great it would be for my Chicago Bears to have a legitimate quarterback. Say a 25-year old Pro Bowler, who grew up a Bears fan and threw for more than 4,500 yards last season. You know one like Jay Cutler.

Two weeks ago, I described the Bears quarterback position as the single largest black hole in American athletics. I pointed to the obvious: the Chicago Bears haven’t had a good quarterback since Luckman. Erik Kramer, a name revered by Bears fans, really just had one good season and Jim McMahon was more of a sideshow than a franchise QB. 

But it’s not as if the Bears haven’t tried to improve at quarterback. Remember, since 1996 Chicago has trotted out 17 different stiffs disguised as starting QBs. They traded a first round pick for Rick Mirer, took a chance on Kordell Stewart and spent first rounders on Cade McNown and Rex Grossman. 

For those new to the dance, I’m going to list the 17 quarterbacks who have started for Chicago since 1996:

Erik Kramer
Dave Kreig
Rick Mirer
Steve Stenstrom 
Moses Moreno
Shane Matthews
Cade McNown 
Jim Miller
Chris Chandler
Henry Burris 
Kordell Stewart
Rex Grossman
Jonathan Quinn
Craig Krenzel 
Chad Hutchinson
Kyle Orton
Brian Griese

The only thing worse than the Chicago Bears quarterback history is a Mariah Carey movie.  

Hour upon hour of Jay Cutler Saga coverage told me the Bears had no shot. The Chicago Sun-Times reported that the Broncos couldn’t even call the Bears back because the phone lines were tied up and that if they wished to reach them try e-mailing or texting them. Optimistic. 

All Wednesday and Thursday we heard ESPN tell us that Washington and Daniel Snyder were the frontrunners to land Cutler. Chris Mortensen listed the top five suitors on SportsCenter and failed to rank the quarterback-starved Bears among the top five suitors. We heard about the New York Jets, the Detroit Lions. But no one really thought the Bears had a chance to land Cutler. The Bears never make moves like this. Right? Especially for a quarterback.

On Thursday, PTI’s Michael Wilbon said, “The Bears mantra is to win without a quarterback.” Most Bears fans feel this way. I know I did.

There are camps out there that think the Bears gave up too much. That’s ridiculous. When you’ve never had a good quarterback, there’s no such price as too much. And with Jerry Angelo’s first round track record (Michael Haynes, Rex Grossman, David Terrell, Cedric Benson and Marc Colombo), is trading away two highly valued unknowns for a franchise quarterback really that big of a price.

CBS Sports’ Pete Prisco writes, “Cutler is 25. He threw for over 8,000 yards the past two seasons. You can’t discount that value.”

Within 15 minutes of the story breaking, I talked with five of my friends, all who live in different cities, about the deal. We were all giddy. Why? Because we’ve been force fed Spam while most people enjoyed a porterhouse and a select few got Kobe beef.

Show a 14-year old from Turkmenistan “Cop And A Half” and he’d think Burt Reynolds was the best actor in cinematic history. See, when you’re used to Ashgabat Phil, Burt and a little black kid is Oscar gold.

In Denver, Cutler was always compared to John Elway. He even boasted he had a stronger arm than the Broncos’ sacred Hall of Famer.

In Chicago, Cutler doesn’t have to worry as much about who he is. Rather, who he isn’t. As long as he provides stability for at least five years at a position less reliable than my jump shot, the deal’s a win for the Bears.

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  1. 13 Responses to “It’s Good To Know I Have Jerry Angelo’s Ear”

  2. The thought that the Bears finally have a legitimate QB completely astounds me. I really don’t know what to do with myself.

    By Cousin Charlie on Apr 2, 2009

  3. Awesome post, agree completely.

    By Matt Clapp on Apr 3, 2009

  4. The price was probably steeper than it needed to be but it’s one of those things where almost no price wouldn’t be worth it for the Bears to finally get a good QB. It would be ironic if the rest of the team now fell apart once you finally have a legit QB…

    Also, what’s with all the posts recently? Have you quit a bad habit or something?

    By Pablo on Apr 3, 2009

  5. Angelo has hardly been successful with high draft picks in the past, so maybe the price isn’t as steep compared to other teams.

    I am oddly excited about watching Jay Cutler throw deep bombs to patches of grass where Devin Hester should have been.

    By Mo on Apr 3, 2009

  6. Reminds me of Herschel Walker. Besides, who is he going to throw to? They don’t have Berrian and Muhammed anymore.

    By J-Bone on Apr 3, 2009

  7. Great post. I’m from Chicago too and I agree with what you’re saying. And for those who say he’s got nobody to throw to…Not many people knew who Brandon Marshall was before Jay Cutler.

    By PStearns on Apr 3, 2009

  8. I love all the people who keep referencing the Herschel Walker trade (most of them probably weren’t even old enough to be cognizant football fans at the time of said trade).

    The Bears got an established player in Cutler, for a couple of 1st round picks that the team would have wasted anyway, plus a 3rd rounder and the horribly inept Orton.

    The Broncos now have three 1st round picks in the next 2 years, while the Bears got a player who will make an immediate impact. As for 1st round draft choices…well, the Lions have had lots of those in the past few years as well. How did that turn out?

    Berrian and Muhammed both bolted town rather than stay on a team that was going to trot out Orton every week. Muhammed blasted the bum in 2005, and Orton can’t complete a pass that isn’t a 3 yard dunk to the RB. Why do you think Forte was the leading receiver last year?

    Hester can only catch bombs (not good when your QB can’t throw farther than 20 yards), Olsen & Clark are good TEs, and that sums up the Bears receiving corps. Bennett is an unknown, and Rashied Davis is godawful.

    The REAL losers in all of this hoopla are Brandon Marshall and Eddie Royal. If Captain Neckbeard manages to beat Chris Simms in a QB competetion, expect the productivity of Marshall and Royal to drop tenfold as Orton underthrows them again and again.

    Kyle Orton is pure suckage.

    By Gross Rexman on Apr 3, 2009

  9. I loved it on SportsCenter earlier on Thursday when Trent Dilfer and Mark Schlereth were breaking down the deal. Both were giving Kyle Orton hand jobs and loving the trade for Denver. Then Schlereth was asked, “Is Orton the answer then for Denver?”

    His quick response, “Oh, definitely not.”

    Exactly.

    By TheBaker on Apr 3, 2009

  10. Hey, Gross Rexman, you can suck my dick! I am much better than you ever were.

    By Ort Kyleton on Apr 3, 2009

  11. We’ll see how good this Cutler character is when he’s throwing to the Bears’ wideouts. He fancies himself better than me; now he’ll really get a chance to prove it.

    By El Johnway on Apr 3, 2009

  12. why all the orton hate, he was having a solid season until he got injured. best of luck to him. with that being said omfg we finally have a real qb BEARS IN THE SUPERBOWL WOOOOOHOOOOO FARVAS #1!

    By Alex on Apr 3, 2009

  13. I have to admit that I’ll kind of miss Jay for the competition. Now I’m the undisputed biggest douche in the AFC West.

    By River Philips on Apr 3, 2009

  14. As a lifelong Broncos fan, I definitely believe you got the best of this trade.

    Bear in mind that exactly half of Broncos Nation is rooting for the Bears to make the Super Bowl. The other half wants Cutler to start visibly crying on the field of Solider Field.

    I’ll be cheering for the Bears. It took some Patriots d-bag to uproot our guy.

    Seriously though, Cutler went to the Pro Bowl with zero running game, and the worst defense in the NFL. I think you all are going to be pretty dang happy.

    By John on Apr 4, 2009

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