Well, This Should Be A Smooth Transition

March 6, 2009 – 6:31 am by Ryan Phillips

The other day it was announced that Alex Rodriguez would likely miss the World Baseball Classic with a hip injury, so naturally he needed to be replaced on the Dominican Republic’s roster. So what big name did the Dominican team call on to replace the former steroid user with 553 career home runs, 1,606 RBI and a .306 average?

Fernando Tatis.

I don’t really know why but when I read the headline “Fernando Tatis: Replaces A-Rod in WBC” I literally laughed out loud.

Tatis is a career .264 hitter, with 103 home runs and 394 RBI in nine major league seasons.

There’s no way on Earth (steroids or no) that Fernando Tatis will ever replace Alex Rodriguez at anything. Except maybe a man-boobs contest.

While I can’t stand A-Rod, there’s no denying that the guy is probably the best all-around baseball player on the planet (sorry Mr. Pujols) and his mere presence would make any team better.

Tatis had a great year way back in 1999 because he was obviously juicing with the Cardinals. He smacked 34 home runs, had 107 RBI, a .298 average and 21 stolen bases. He’s never come close to duplicating that success again. He was a flash in the pan, a one year wonder.

This would be like Megan Fox getting injured on the set of Transformers 2 to the degree that she couldn’t continue filming. So the producers looked for a replacement and the best they could come up with was Mischa Barton. A briefly famous chick who was never attractive to begin with and has fallen off the map.

For those of you who are more visually oriented, it would be like replacing this:

With this:

Yeesh. Cruella, leave the Dalmations alone!

Well, now that I’ve given you nightmare fuel for the next three months, have a great weekend everybody!

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  1. One Response to “Well, This Should Be A Smooth Transition”

  2. Maybe they are hoping he will hit 2 grand slams in 1 inning again…

    By Cousin Charlie on Mar 6, 2009

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