This Just In: Pakistan Really Sucks

March 3, 2009 – 4:24 am by Ryan Phillips

In case you weren’t aware, recent evidence suggests that Pakistan and India might comprise the most worthless region on the planet – unless, of course, you need tech support. If you were still on the fence and needed more proof before rushing to judgment, well now you have it.

The AP is reporting that a dozen masked gunmen armed with rifles and rocket launchers attacked the Sri Lankan cricket team as it traveled to a match in Pakistan on Tuesday. Several players were wounded and five police officers were killed in the attack.

The team’s convoy was ambushed at a traffic circle close to the main sports stadium in the eastern city of Lahore before a match against Pakistan’s national team. A 15-minute gunbattle ensued with the police guarding the vehicles.

None of the attackers were killed or captured according to city police and authorities didn’t speculate on the identities of the attackers or the reasons for the attack.

Sounds to me like someone bet a little heavy on the Pakistani national team.

So to sum up, a country’s national cricket team was in Pakistan for a match and was attacked, in the middle of the city, right near the match’s venue, by masked gunmen. The attack killed five policemen and left players injured. Note to self: Cancel trip to Pakistan. Oh right, I didn’t have one planed because I’m not insane.

This attack came three months after the Mumbai terror attacks, which were allegedly carried out by Pakistani militants.

Of course, Pakistan and India (both nuclear-armed nations) have blamed each other for attacks in the past and any similar allegations could worsen tensions in the region.

You know what, I’m sure this will be a little controversial and might turn some people off, but I’m at the point where I don’t even care. To hell with it, let them nuke each other and see what happens.

I mean seriously, these were cricket players. From Sri Lanka. What could they have possibly ever done to piss someone off so badly?

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