Slap Your Problems Away

March 30, 2009 – 4:01 pm by TheBaker

In case you haven’t heard yet, the fella who does the ShamWow and Slap Chop commercials was arrested recently after he beat up a prostitute.

“Hi, it’s Vince with Slap Chop. You’re going to be in a great mood all day because you’re going to be slapping your problems away with the Slap Chop.”

Vince Shlomi got pinched in Miami after he took a few swings at Sasha Harris, a 26-year old hooker. According to The Smoking Gun, who attained the arrest affidavit, Shlomi paid $1,000 for “straight sex.” Kind of surprising seeing as Shlomi seems anything but straight in the incessant ESPN infomercials that pop up more frequently than Samuel L. Jackson.

“Stop having a boring tuna. Stop having a boring life.”

Apparently, the hooker bit Shlomi’s tongue and wouldn’t let go. Shlomi then punched the hooker until she let go of his tongue. According to the affidavit, the prostitute sustained facial fractures and lacerations. But if you ask me, the photo (below) says Shlomi got his ass kicked.

Maybe now we won’t get 97 ShamWow and 123 Slap Chop ads a day on the ESPN family of networks. One can dream.

The amazing mugshot is after the jump.

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  1. 6 Responses to “Slap Your Problems Away”

  2. The big winner: Billy Mays.

    By Matt J. on Mar 30, 2009

  3. Bold prediction: Within five years, Vince and the “Dude, you’re getting a Dell” guy will both be caught sucking dick for crack.

    By Hick Flick on Mar 30, 2009

  4. How about that shirt? Is he wearing pajamas?

    By Pablo on Mar 31, 2009

  5. she bit his tongue? that is gnarly. i think the shirt is a hospital gown.

    By roundthewaygirl on Mar 31, 2009

  6. Personally, I’m a fan of the snuggie… why wasn’t he wearing the snuggie?!

    By Chrissy on Apr 2, 2009

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