National unemployment continues to skyrocket. The stock market continues to tumble. The government continues to give more bailout money to companies with the worry that their collapse will cause some sort of catastrophe.
And then on the other side of the table, we have Manny Ramirez and his agent, Scott Borass. Borass and Ramirez have decided that the Dodgers’ offer of two years and $45 million just isn’t good enough in these booming economic times, so they’ll continue to sit it out and see how many more millions they think they can bilk out of the Dodger organization.
I wonder why Scott is having a difficult time negotiating with the Dodgers. Could the stellar two-year, $36 million deal that he had them ink with Andruw Jones last season has made them a little gun-shy to his douchey ways?
My favorite Borass story comes from the mother of a former collegiate pitching prospect who forbade her son from signing with him because she thought he was slimy. Even though she would have certainly benefited from his ability to get more dollars into his client’s pockets, she thought it was more important to have someone who was less of an asshole representing her son. Decency apparently still counts for some people.
Of course, Manny isn’t one of those people. He may project a cute and cuddly image with his goofy ways, but they’ve never been anything less than selfish antics. When he can completely pillage an opponent like he did to the Cubs (a la Will Clark) in last year’s playoffs, though, a team can live with that.
The flip side is that you actually need to be on a team in order to do that kind of thing. And with millions of people collecting unemployment as we speak, it’s remarkably crass for someone to voluntarily stay unemployed because they don’t feel they’re getting enough millions in the bank.
In the meantime, I suggest that Scott and Manny find something to do while they wait for their negotiations with the Dodgers to play out. Like shove a bat up each other’s assholes. And then lick off the remnants when they’re done. After all, it’s hard to feed a family on 25 mill a year. Gotta get that protein somewhere.