How To Make Money Watching Sports

March 18, 2009 – 5:44 pm by Matthew Glenesk

Ah, it’s time for the NCAA Tournament to tip-off, otherwise known as Christmas to sports gamblers. Here at Rumors and Rants, we love to gamble. We usually just don’t have any money to do so. And that’s not always a bad thing. The last successful bet yours truly placed was a wager on the WNBA two summers ago.

That and for the longest time I was skeptical about online sports gambling. A buddy of mine claimed to have won big money but was then forced to jump through hoops before he ever saw his payoff. I badgered him for weeks about where his “fake Internet money” was. Then a non-descript envelope and an even more non-descript letter accompanied a $1,200 check with links to the Cayman Islands. The check cleared. My boy got paid.

“Like that fake Internet money now, ass hole!?”

Perhaps it can be done. I myself, can’t handicap shit. I’d be better off blindly picking Powerball numbers than picking games on my own. That’s why we look to our local gambling consultant, Wise Guy Action. I personally know WGA’s founder and can vouch that there are fewer men in committed relationships that devote as much time to figuring out which games to bet on. (You know, when he’s not out sifting through pumpkin patches with his girlfriend or walking her Shih Tzus.) This dude seriously would bet on Vermont junior varsity girls volleyball games if they could handicap it.

Don’t believe me? Check out his 1,500-word explanation of why betting the UConn/Chattanooga over (145.0) is a lock. Ridiculous.

If you came here looking for some NCAA Tournament picks, click here. Because you’re better off not getting any gambling information from me. Plus, by doing so I forego any liability.

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  1. 5 Responses to “How To Make Money Watching Sports”

  2. hahahahaha… NICE

    By KJ on Mar 18, 2009

  3. for the record, they’re pekingese puppies not shih tzus. i hope this clarifies my manhood.

    By KJ on Mar 19, 2009

  4. Pekingese are much more adorable than Shih Tzus. I’m offended… and we only went to the pumpkin patch once!!! Yes, I read your blog…

    By Chrissy on Mar 22, 2009

  5. Haha. Hilarious. Sorry I don’t know the differences between Pekingese and Shih Tzus. I’m partial to Welsh Corgis.

    By TheBaker on Mar 23, 2009

  6. Make money, Haha, good thinking, nice. haha.

    By Video Converter Soft on Apr 17, 2009

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