Eric Devendorf, White Trash Five-Tooler

March 17, 2009 – 2:34 am by Ryan Phillips

Since today will see streets in towns all across the country littered with pasty white Irishmen (and women) celebrating the beautiful world of alcohol, I figured we should have some sort of homage to pasty whiteness.

So to do that we’re going to discuss one of the biggest feel-bad stories to come around this March, the emergence of Syracuse’s Eric Devendorf

Along with point guard Jonny Flynn, Devendorf was the main reason the Orange were able to make an incredible run to the finals of the Big East Tournament. Without him, Syracuse would have never earned a three seed and the right to smoke Stephen F. Austin on Friday (at 12:15 p.m.). The problem? Devendorf shouldn’t be allowed to represent any university on a basketball floor.

We all know the story of how Devendorf punched a female student in the face back in the Fall while he was on probation for a different violent confrontation with another student. A panel of his fellow students recommended that he be suspended for the entire academic year, but somehow he did community service and now it’s all good.

Who does this guy think he is? You can’t treat a woman like that and just get away with it. Unless, of course, you’re Chris Brown.

Closer examination of this “student athlete” reveals something interesting: he’s hit all five spots on the white trash checklist.

Pasty white skin and awful tattoos?

Check.

Kevin Federline-style “thin beard” facial hair selection?

Check.

Sunked-eyed, “I just did meth for four days straight” look?

Check.

Talks way too much trash for his own good?

Check.

Violent towards women?

Check.

And there we have it, Mr. Devendorf has hit a grand slam in the white trash department. Congrats Eric, now go fuck yourself.

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  1. 114 Responses to “Eric Devendorf, White Trash Five-Tooler”

  2. nobody is jealous of syracuse or your 1 championship in 25 years. everybody is just tired of the city and its fans thinking they are better than the rest. youre not duke and youre not unc. you are a competitive basketball program thats in recent years only gets by on reputation. nobody cares if you made the final four in 1995 if you didnt win. nobody cares if you won the big east torunament only to lose in the first round of the ncaa

    devo and the rest of the underachieving orange havent accomplished anything and will be NBDL bench warmers 3 years from now.

    hows your boy jerry mac doing lately? oh yeah, sitting at home like a loser, just like everyother player every to wear the jersey. that clown couldnt even make it in greece!!!

    By Big momma pam on Mar 20, 2009

  3. without the one year carmelo single handedly did it all, su basketball has accomplished nothing. a hall of fame coach my ass. talk to me when you get more tha 1 ring EVER

    By Big momma pam on Mar 20, 2009

  4. Devendorf is the truth

    By devoisgod23 on Mar 22, 2009

  5. AK-47: I told you people love the US to give evidance that that they know what’s going on here. No, they don’t teach you how to read in the Navy, it’s mostly how to brush your teeth, take a piss, and fold your clothes. I also learned electricty and electronics(thanks for asking).

    As far as people in the midwest being morons, I was clearly responding to a previous post. I was laying the sarcasim on pretty thick, but I guess you didn’t get that. I retract my statment that you are all geniuses, it’s just you.

    By Sampsie on Mar 22, 2009

  6. You are probably a female whoever wrote this whole article. Hate because you’re jealous. It’s pretty funny.

    By elcamel1216 on Mar 23, 2009

  7. hate because youre jealous? of what? yout over-hyped, under achieveing basketball program?

    how you think you are in the same class as duke, kansas, unc, florida?

    let me remind you and every other onboxious syracuse fan out there. YOU GUYS DONT WIN SHIT. you won the championship once by a player who used you guys because all he wanted was NBA money. other than that, your program has accomplished nothing. boeheim being a hall of famer is a joke. the guy is as average as they come. yes, he won a few big east titles. but in the 25 years of coaching, he should have more. and the past few years youve been in and out of the NIT.

    you call yourself great when 4 out of the last 5 years youve been a bubble team to even make the torunament!!!

    By Big momma pam on Mar 23, 2009

  8. now look here, there isn’t any need for you to get on here claiming devendorf to be white trash.
    i can guarantee any DI player is the farthest thing from white trash. Deefy is a great player, a great shooter, an emotional athlete, and he lets his woman know when enough is enough.
    there isn’t anything wrong with deefy, i just believe a fruitcake wrote this article.

    By birchfield on Mar 23, 2009

  9. Sampsie: How does people loving the U.S. give any evidence (notice the correct spelling) that people from other parts of the world know about how certain people from certain regions are viewed by other people of other parts of the U.S.?
    And yeah, I understood your sarcasm. But it was ridiculously overdone by saying “the rest of the world” when that just makes you sound like an idiot.
    But this is all way off the topic, which is basically that Eric Devendorf is a piece of shit. And sorry, but it’s true.
    And for all you that are calling this site racist – grow up.

    By AK-47 on Mar 23, 2009

  10. All of you people are fucking retards. cleary none of you know or have even come into contact with eric. i hope you all fucking die and rot in hell for wrting this article or even commetned on it.

    By bigstu on Mar 25, 2009

  11. Has anyone seen how he acts in public? I am from Cuse and have seen him drunk in public acting like a good guy, and this was even before he had a child, that event changes most people for the good. So when you all call him a punk and have never meet him you need to shut the fuck up cause you don’t know how he acts off the court. If i was nearly as talented as him i would talk just like him, for some people that helps them to always stay confident in their abilities. So until he treats you like shit get off his back.

    By Cuse Fan on Mar 26, 2009

  12. pam: WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME DUKE WON A NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP?

    By Cuse Fan on Mar 26, 2009

  13. ill piss in his eyes and shit in his mouth

    By apy on Dec 14, 2009

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