Super Q&A

February 3, 2009 – 3:45 pm by Hickey

We’ve had time to sleep on the Super Bowl. And then time to sleep on the day after the Super Bowl, which¬† allows to have intellectually stimulating conversation about the matter now that we’ve fully processed it. And here are my answers to those questions which you most assuredly asked around your water cooler on Monday.

Was this the greatest Super Bowl ever?

Didn’t you just ask that last year?

Seriously, though, from start to finish, this year’s game topped even last year’s. Remember, Super Bowl XLII was basically three boring quarters followed by a slam-bang finish. Yeah, that’s right. Slam-bang. This one was compelling throughout, from Arizona’s decision to defer after winning the opening toss onward.

However, last year’s edition is more likely to go down in the annals of history as the greater game because of the significance of the Patriots losing their first game of the season. And that is deservedly so.

It is interesting to note that Kurt Warner has now played in three of the five most entertaining Super Bowls of my lifetime, though. (This one, the Rams falling to the Patriots on a last-second field goal, and the Rams surviving Kevin Dyson’s outstretched arm at the 1-yard line. The only ones missing KW are last year’s and the Patriots beating the Panthers.)

Who had the greater catch, David Tyree or Santonio Holmes?

Holmes’ grab was phenomenal. Dwight Clark’s catch in the 1981 NFC Championship game should no longer be allowed to use the moniker “The Catch” in comparison. It’s without question the greatest touchdown grab in Super Bowl history.

But…

In terms of plays, from start to finish, Eli Manning’s escape and Tyree’s helmet catch can’t be beat. It’s simply one of the craziest plays in football history.

Why wasn’t the final play reviewed in the booth?

Clearly, there was nothing reviewable about the Steelers kneeling the ball down.

The play before that, dumbass.

I’m sure, at full game speed, that the officials were able to determine that Kurt Warner was not in the act of throwing a forward pass and fumbled the ball. These guys have eyes like lasers. They don’t need to look at no stinking replay.

Plus, NFL Director of Officiating Mike Pereira confirmed after the game that replay officials determined the call on the field was correct. And he’d never try to cover his ass.

Which team is most likely to be back in the Super Bowl next year?

The smart money is on neither. And as much as people say the Cardinals are a team on the rise, they aren’t. They lost the Super Bowl. This automatically damns them into missing next year’s playoffs, as hasbeen the case with 7 of the past 8 Super losers. Something bad is bound to happen to them next season, like Matty Leinart taking snaps under center.

When did Brenda Warner stop looking like Gozer?

I have no idea how Kurt Warner’s wife went from looking like this to looking like this. I do know if I see that Benjamin Button movie I might find some answers, though.

Did the Boss really slide his crotch into my living room?

Yes. I wonder what this looked like in HD. I also wonder if he thought this was part of the 3D programming.

What was the best Super Bowl commercial?

If you answered The Cash 4 Gold (or is it Cash 2 Gold?) ad with MC Hammer and Ed McMahon, then you are correct sir!

What was the worst Super Bowl commercial?

Other than the trailer for the next chapter in the “Fast and the Furious” series? That would have to be the latest in the series of Bud Light commercials with some douche who draws stuff on the screen with a magic telestrator that actually makes the things he draws appear in real life.

The whole concept is retarded. I’m not sure where they came up with the idea, other than maybe trying to rip off the UPS ads with the dude drawing stuff on the dry-erase board. I do hope that Sonny Bono’s family was deeply offended by the Super Bowl spot, though, in which Bud Light Douche draws a tree on a ski hill that a guy crashes in to.

Hey, you know what would be funny? A commercial where he draws a mushroom cloud over St. Louis, so they could stop making shitty commercials for their shitty beer from their shitty city.

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  1. 2 Responses to “Super Q&A”

  2. I just spit some of my beer out when I realized how Brenda Warner used to look just like Gozer. There’s no way it’s the same person now. I’m convinced the NFL kidnapped Brenda and replaced her with some blonde chick to fuel the stereotype that all of their players are married to hot-ass bitches.

    By Cousin Charlie on Feb 3, 2009

  3. I can tell you, Bruce’s crotch was amazing in HD.

    By Red on Feb 4, 2009

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