Adriana Lima actually went through with it and eloped with Marko Jaric on Valentine’s Day weekend. What the fuck does this guy have going for him that we can’t see? With everything he has working against him, he better have the greatest personality on the planet. Seriously, the only reason he’s not hosting the Tonight Show should be because of his passionate love for basketball. I mean look at the guy.
Adriana must know nothing about basketball. If she did she’d be aware that she’s married to a guy averaging 1.8 points, 1 rebound and 1.2 assists and playing 9.9 minutes per game in Memphis. When your husband can’t crack the Grizzlies lineup, it’s time to reconsider things.
Darko Milicic (6.5 ppg, 4.9 rpg, 19.9 mins), Brian Scalabrine (3.5 ppg, 1.3 rpg, 12.9 mins), and Josh McRoberts (2.0 ppg, 2.2 rpg, 7.7 mins) are all more effective NBA players than this douche.
Last year when I heard the two of them were together I was so blown away that I nearly choked on my Coca Puffs. Off the top of my head I can think of 10 people she could have been engaged to that would have shocked me less than Marko Jaric:
And that’s just off the top of my head. I could do this for hours but I’d probably drive myself insane.