Adriana Lima Picture: Screw You And Your Wedded Bliss

February 25, 2009 – 10:28 am by Ryan Phillips

Adriana Lima actually went through with it and eloped with Marko Jaric on Valentine’s Day weekend. What the fuck does this guy have going for him that we can’t see? With everything he has working against him, he better have the greatest personality on the planet. Seriously, the only reason he’s not hosting the Tonight Show should be because of his passionate love for basketball. I mean look at the guy.

Adriana must know nothing about basketball. If she did she’d be aware that she’s married to a guy averaging 1.8 points, 1 rebound and 1.2 assists and playing 9.9 minutes per game in Memphis. When your husband can’t crack the Grizzlies lineup, it’s time to reconsider things.

Darko Milicic (6.5 ppg, 4.9 rpg, 19.9 mins), Brian Scalabrine (3.5 ppg, 1.3 rpg, 12.9 mins), and Josh McRoberts (2.0 ppg, 2.2 rpg, 7.7 mins) are all more effective NBA players than this douche.

Last year when I heard the two of them were together I was so blown away that I nearly choked on my Coca Puffs. Off the top of my head I can think of 10 people she could have been engaged to that would have shocked me less than Marko Jaric:

Stan Van Gundy
Ian Ziering
Don Zimmer
Harry Reid
Barry Melrose
Curtis Enis
Ruth Bader Ginsburg
Tom Bosley
Scott Peterson
Larry King

And that’s just off the top of my head. I could do this for hours but I’d probably drive myself insane.

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  1. 10 Responses to “Adriana Lima Picture: Screw You And Your Wedded Bliss”

  2. Aside from his wonky eyes, that guy is kinda hot. Not, like, hot enough for her, but he’s not the ogre every dude is painting him to be.

    By Red on Feb 25, 2009

  3. First it’s a horrible tattoo on her ankle (see in the picture) and then a horrible-looking dude with a French-guy porn-stache on his face (see picture). I’m starting to think this chick just has really, really bad taste and would just be a pain in the ass to be around.

    By McD on Feb 25, 2009

  4. I could get over the horrible tattoo and the fact that she might be a pain in the ass. I mean who asked her to talk anyway? {braces for hit from nearest female companion}

    By Phillips on Feb 25, 2009

  5. Add Dave from Newcastle, The Gene Hackman, The Voyeur to the list…

    By Booter on Feb 25, 2009

  6. śliczna, ale on… bez komentarza! I ten wąs Czesława ;))))

    By marti on May 27, 2009

  7. I didn’t even know she was married until tonight… then when I saw this picture of who her husband was, I thought it was a joke. He is terribly ugly, and obviously a nobody in basketball. There are a million average joe’s out there a million times better looking than him that would DIE to be with her…

    By Kelly on Jun 3, 2009

  8. Im sorry i completely disagree with you he is very good looking maybe just in the picture he’s not. He is also very successful in basketball! A lot of people know him! Even if his not extremely good looking or a great basketball player as you say he might have an amazing personality or something that made her like him. MARKO MI TE VOLIMO! ! ! :)

    By ~DADA~ on Jun 4, 2009

  9. Im sure he does everything right and makes her happy. thats the main thing. well at least, I hope he does. otherwise nothing would make sense anymore.oO

    By Michael on Jun 7, 2009

  10. He just happens to be her exact “type” of guy. That’s all.

    By Chris on Jun 27, 2009

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  2. Jan 18, 2015: adriana lima and marko jaricFree Celebrity Information | Free Celebrity Information

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