There are some things that words simply can’t do justice in describing. And that’s why they invented YouTube.
In a move certain to enrage fans of the Creighton Bluejays and the rest of their ilk, the Bradley basketball team has recently released a video entitled “The MVC Shuffle.” As you can see, it is their reworking of The Chicago Bears Shufflin’ Crew’s Grammy-nominated 1986 hit single, “The Super Bowl Shuffle.”
Now, some song covers work very well — Jimi Hendrix redoing Dylan’s “All Along the Watchtower,” Nirvana’s version of Bowie’s “The Man Who Sold The World,” or even Nina Gordon’s version of “Straight Outta Compton.”
Though a spirited and um, respectable effort at tackling a classic tune, Bradley’s “Shuffle” falls short of the original on every conceivable level. The straight-up musical chops of the Shufflin’ Crew simply can’t be replicated. How can you possibly beat the lyricism of a Punky QB known as McMahon? Or recreate the energy exuded by lead guitarist Mike Tomczak?
Quite frankly, no one short of Wynton Marsalis could ever hope to match the dulcet saxophone tones of Calvin Thomas. Bradley saxophonist Ryan Phillips is badly overmatched in this battle of reed-blowers. (As guys with that name tend to be).
And while the guys from Bradley certainly give it a valiant try, none of them holds a candle to the stage presence of Shufflin’ Crew cowbell player Maury Buford. Simply put, there’s no one in the Bradley lineup who’s as smooth as a chocolate swirl.
Oh, one other thing. The ’85 Bears could actually back up the Super Bowl Shuffle by, you know, being one of the greatest teams of all time and winning the Super Bowl. As it currently stands, Bradley sits 1.5 games behind Northern Iowa for first place in the Missouri Valley Conference. Somehow, I don’t think another trip to the finals of the CBI will cut it when people compare the merits of these records years down the line.
But as hard as I’ve been on the Braves in this blog, I’ve got to admit: they’re still better than the Jonas Brothers, Nickelback or Panic at the Disco.