TheBaker’s Draft Anthology: Round Seven

January 27, 2009 – 12:13 am by Matthew Glenesk

I know it’s Super Bowl week and most of the blogosphere is focused on the Arizona Cardinals and Pittsburgh Steelers. But one thing you’ve come to learn about Rumors and Rants, is that we don’t conform (except for when we write about Erin Andrews, apparently).

Sure, the Super Bowl is big news. But we’re looking past the big game. Why? Because I freaking love the NFL Draft. In middle school and high school, I would print out player profiles, line them out in front of me and guess which player would be going to which team. It was a holiday weekend for me. And still is.

So if you love the NFL Draft as much as I do, I have a special treat for you. Over the next few weeks, Rumors and Rants will present TheBaker’s Draft Anthology, a seven-part series detailing each and every round since 1995. This is a breakdown like nothing you’ve seen before and done by someone who has so much free time, he’s legally retired. TheBaker has distinguished which players he felt were the best three picks of each round and then has added some bonus material where needed.

We begin with the seventh round. Enjoy.

1995

1. Adam Timmerman, G – Green Bay, No. 230 (South Dakota State)
2. Tom Nutten, C – Denver, No. 221 (Western Michigan)
3. Jason Fisk, DT – Minnesota, No. 243 (Stanford)

Summary:
It’s the seventh round, of course we’re relying on linemen, and in particular linemen that started in Super Bowl XXXIV. Timmerman was a two-time Super Bowl champ (Super Bowl XXXI with Green Bay and Super Bowl XXXIV with St. Louis) and helped keep Brett Favre and Kurt Warner clean. He started 172 of his 187 career games and was named to the Pro Bowl in 2001. Starting on the same champion St. Louis offensive line with Timmerman was Nutten, who held down the left guard position from 1999-2002. Coincidentally, Fisk beat that vaunted St. Louis offensive line in that very same Super Bowl as a member of the Tennessee Titans and sacked Warner. Fisk retired after the 2006 season with 19 career sacks and 280 tackles in 108 starts.

Honorable mention:
DB Chad Cota, Carolina, No. 209 (Oregon); DB Gerald McBurrows,  St. Louis, No. 214 (Kansas)

I Remember He Kicked Ass In College But Blew In The Pros:
QB John Walsh (Cincinnati), No. 213 – BYU.
And no, not the dude from “America’s Most Wanted.” Most scouts agreed Walsh’s decision to leave BYU after his junior year was the wrong one, but after he put up 454 yards and four touchdowns on Oklahoma in the Copper Bowl his mind was made up. Walsh still owns the school record for passing yards in a game with 619 against Utah State in 1993. He never played in the pros.

What In the Name of Chuck Finley and Tawny Kitean:
DT Chad Eaton  (Arizona), No. 241 – Washington State.
In 2006, Eaton’s wife, Tina, was arrested after she punched her hubby in the nose, drawing blood. “Nobody makes me bleed my own blood.” Apparently, Mrs. Eaton thought big daddy was cheating on her. A year later, the roles were reversed and Tina got Ike-d, allegedly, as Eaton got picked up on domestic abuse charges of his own.

I Know, When This Football Thing Runs Its Course I’ll Run For Office:
CB Scott Turner (Washington), No. 226 – Illinois.
Turner played 101 games in the NFL splitting time between Washington, San Diego and Denver. After his retirement in 2004, Turner ran for the vacated office of California’s 50th Congressional district in 2006. The seat’s former owner, Duke Cunningham, pleaded guilty to accepting at least $2.4 million in bribes and the 67-year old is locked up until 2013. Interesting editorial side note – Cunningham was Phillips and McD’s congressman for most of their natural lives. In the subsequent Republican primary, Turner barely scored an extra point, coming in with 1.43% of the vote

1996

1. LB Carlos Emmons – Pittsburgh, No. 242 (Arkansas State)
2. TE Jay Riemersma – Buffalo, No. 244 (Michigan)
3. DL Keith McKenzie – Green Bay, No. 252 (Ball State)

Summary:
A key cog in the Steelers’ 3-4 scheme, Emmons started at ROLB for two years before moving onto Keystone State rival Philadelphia, where he started for four years. He started 121 of his 147 career games and finished with 19 sacks and 481 tackles. When someone says Riemersma, you know who they are talking about: University of Michigan tight end, who had an unspectacular pro career (2,524 yards, 221 catches and 23 TDs). Well, for a seventh rounder that’s good enough for me. He makes the list. McKenzie was really only a starter for one year (2000 when he cashed in with Cleveland). But in 95 career games, he was able to snag 29.5 sacks and 116 tackles. Plus, he’s from Ball State and we don’t want to piss off David Letterman.

Honorable mention:
None (Lovett Purnell and Conrad Hamilton would be reaches).

Worst Reason To Die At 30:
WR Brice Hunter (Miami), No. 251 – Georgia
. Ranked second all-time at Georgia in career receptions, Hunter spent parts of three seasons in the NFL. In 2004, he was shot and killed by a neighbor in Chicago after a dispute about loud music.

Drafting Backup USC Quarterbacks in the Seventh Round Doesn’t Always Work Out:
QB Kyle Wachholtz (Green Bay), No. 240 – USC
. Sure it worked for Matt Cassel and we’ll get to that, but Keyshawn Johnson could have made this kid look good. Instead Rob Johnson and some guy named Brad Otton got the headlines. With Brett Favre in tow already, Green Bay didn’t need any help at QB, so they drafted Wachholtz and tried to convert him into a tight end. Um yeah, that didn’t work. But hey, at least he’s not Mark Chmura.

1997

1. DT Jason Ferguson – New York Jets, No. 229 (Georgia)
2. DB Omar Stoutmire – Dallas, No. 224 (Fresno State)
3. TE Kris Mangum – Carolina, No. 228 (Mississippi)

Summary:
In just his second season, Ferguson started all 16 games for the AFC East champion Jets. He spent seven seasons on Broadway before following Bill Parcells to Dallas. He started 105 games and finished his career with 21.5 sacks and 332 tackles. Stoutmire was a serviceable safety and was the Giants starter in 2002 and 2003. In 60 career starts, he made 307 tackles. I was thinking about throwing Koy Detmer in there at No. 3 (slim pickings), but then I realized while yes it’s great he was in the league for nine seasons, he only started eight games. Mangum started 61 games and caught 151 balls all for Carolina. Good enough for me.

Honorable mention:
DL Mark Smith – Arizona, No. 212 (Auburn); FB Jerald Sewell – Green Bay, No. 231 (Tulane).

I Remember He Kicked Ass In College But Blew In The Pros:
(tie) QB Koy Detmer (Philadelphia), No. 207 – Colorado and WR Marcus Harris (Detroit), No. 232 – Wyoming. In 1996, Detmer set (and still owns) Colorado’s single-season school records in passing yards (3,156) and touchdowns (22). He ranks third on the school’s all-time passing list behind Kordell Stewart and some cat named Joel Klatt. Plus, I’m told Detmer was the lowest rated player in one of the earlier Maddens during the Sega Genesis days. Harris (right) was a pass catching machine in college and won the Fred Biletnikoff Award in 1996 as the nation’s top receiver. During his senior year, he became the NCAA’s all-time leader in receiving yards (4,518). He remains the only Biletnikoff Award winner to never play in a pro game.  At least Detmer had the notoriety of looking like Ringo Starr.

You Don’t Have To Go Home, But You Can’t Stay Here:
DB Hudhaifa Ismaeli (Miami), No. 203 – Northwestern. Ismaeli was suspended for one year by Northwestern’s athletic director Rick Taylor for failing two drug tests in three months. Instead of taking the suspension, Ismaeli went pro. In a Sports Illustrated article about Northwestern “trying to maintain its integrity while it keeps on winning,” there’s a passage that reads: “Senior defensive back Hudhaifa Ismaeli wore a souvenir NFL jersey with his name on the back to a sporting goods store at a mall in Pittsburgh, and a shopper asked him, “Are you any relation to the Ismaeli kid who plays for Northwestern?” Beaming, Ismaeli said, “I am that person.” I hope he saved that jersey. It certainly is a souvenir. Ismaeli is out of football and ended up working on a production line in a factory that made sewer pipes.

1998

1. OT Ephraim Salaam – Atlanta, No. 199 (San Diego State)
2. CB Eric Warfield – Kansas City, No. 216 (Nebraska)
3. S Pat Tillman – Arizona, No. 226 (Arizona State)

Summary:
Sure Salaam and Chester Pitts have a great Super Bowl story, but that aside, Salaam has put together a solid career (129 career starts in 10 seasons). He bounced around a bit, but wherever he went he started. For a seventh rounder, that’s more than you can ask for. Had Warfield been smart enough to lose his car keys when he drank he might have finished in the top spot. And perhaps it doesn’t mesh with some that a dude with three DUI convictions is ahead of a fallen American soldier, but this is purely football related. Warfield was the Chiefs starting cornerback from 2001-2005 and had 20 career interceptions and 329 tackles. Tillman, whose death in Afghanistan has been well-documented, if not fully disclosed, played just four years in the NFL before giving up football after the 2001 season. The year prior, a 24-year old Tillman started all 16 games for the Cardinals and finished the season with 109 tackles.

Honorable Mention:
C Trey Teague – Denver, No. 200 (Tennessee); LB Nate Wayne – Denver, No. 219 (Mississippi)

I Remember He Kicked Ass In College But Blew In The Pros:
OL Aaron Taylor (Indianapolis), No. 190 – Nebraska
. Often confused for the sidemouth-talking former Notre Dame offensive lineman by the same name who sends Irish fans video messages, Nebraska’s Aaron Taylor was the Outland Trophy winner, awarded to the nation’s top interior lineman. He is also the only Nebraska player to earn All-American honors at two different positions (center and guard). In 1999, Sports Illustrated selected Taylor as a third team offensive guard in their “NCAA Football All-Century Team.” The Colts cut him midseason in 1998 and the Bears picked him up. And that was it. One and done.

At Least He Wasn’t Blowing The President:
OL Chris Liwienski (Detroit), No. 207 – Indiana
. As if it wasn’t bad enough he played football at my alma mater (historically awful), I’m sure it didn’t help that a White House intern with a last name spelled differently (Lewinsky) but pronounced the same way In-Hailed the Chief. Liwienski, the football player, managed to keep his head up despite all the oral sex jokes and went on to start  94 games, including every one for Minnesota from 2001-2004. I would have mentioned him in the Honorable Mention section, but I didn’t want to blow my wad. Couldn’t help myself.

Something To Hang Your Hat On:
WR Andy McCullough (New Orleans), No. 204 – Tennessee. Sure McCullough didn’t make it in the NFL and he bounced around the AFL playing for teams like the Dallas Desperados, Georgia Force, Indiana Firebirds, Colorado Crush, Chicago Rush and Cleveland Gladiators, but he did catch the final collegiate touchdown of Peyton Manning’s career. That’s got to be worth something, though only in Knoxville. Plus, as a member of the Frankfurt Galaxy he won World Bowl VII MVP honors. Score!

You Didn’t Know It, But I Would Soon Hate You:
QB Moses Moreno (Chicago), No. 232 – Colorado State.
You’ve heard of Knowshon Moreno. This guy was No-Show Moreno. It wasn’t your fault you sucked – you just did. I really blame the Bears for actually playing you. Moreno will forever be bunched with the other 15 scrubs Chicago has trotted out disguised as starting quarterbacks since the magical 1995 season of Erik Kramer. Moreno got one of them. That was enough. Unfortunately for McD and Phillips (huge San Diego homers), he started twice as many games for the Chargers.

1999

1. WR Donald Driver – Green Bay, No. 213 (Alcorn State)
2. OL Todd McClure – Atlanta, No. 237 (LSU)
3. K Kris Brown – Pittsburgh, No. 228 (Nebraska)

Summary: How can you not like Donald Driver’s story? Grew up homeless out of a U-Haul only to become a three-time Pro Bowler and favorite target of one of the best quarterbacks in NFL history. He has recorded five straight 1,000-yard seasons and is 63rd in NFL history with 577 career catches. Not to mention he has a B.S. in Accounting and a Master’s in Computer Science. Upon his arrival in Atlanta, McClure immediately became a fixture at center for the Falcons, starting 118 of 121 games from 2000-2007. That’ll work. Brown is just a field goal shy of 1,000 career points. He made his name kicking for the Steelers, but after an iffy 2001 season (30-for-44 on FGs), Pittsburgh let him walk to Houston, where he’s been…consistent. A kicker? I know. Hey, it’s the seventh round.

Honorable Mention:
DT Ryan Young – New York Jets, No. 223 (Kansas State); WR Sean Morey – New England, No. 241 (Brown); DT Bryce Fisher – Buffalo, No. 248 (Air Force).

I Remember He Kicked Ass In College But Blew In The Pros:
(tie) RB Autry Denson (Tampa Bay), No. 233 – Notre Dame and QB Michael Bishop (New England), No. 227 – Kansas State. Quick, name Notre Dame’s all-time leading rusher. If you really knew it was Autry Denson then you either live in South Bend, Ind., or you’re related to him. Denson was a four-year starter and his 4,318 career rushing yards are tops in school history, ahead of The Gipper (eighth on the list with 2,341 yards). In 34 career NFL games, Denson amassed 345 total yards. The 1998 Davey O’Brien Award winner, Bishop (right) helped lead the resurgence of the Wildcats program. In 1998, he set school records with 2,844 passing yards, 23 touchdowns (just four picks), while rushing for an additional 748 yards and 14 scores. K-State lost to Texas A&M in the Big 12 Championship Game costing the Wildcats a shot at the national title. Bishop finished second in the Heisman Trophy voting to Ricky Williams, but received 41 first place votes. In his first career pass attempt in the NFL, he threw a 44-yard Hail Mary touchdown to Tony Simmons. It would be the only TD pass of his NFL career.

I’m About As Important as the British Royal Family:
P Hunter Smith (Indianapolis), No. 210 – Notre Dame
. Sure he’s had the job for 10 years, but being the punter for the Colts is like holding the boom mic on a porn set. As long as you don’t fuck up and stay out of the shot, you’re set.

I Should Have Taken The Money And Ran:
DB Anthony Poindexter (Baltimore), No. 216 – Virginia.
Poindexter might be most remembered for helping stop Warrick Dunn shy of the goal line in UVA’s 33-28 win over FSU in 1995, which handed the Seminoles their first loss in ACC play, snapping 29-game conference winning streak since joining the league in 1992. Poindexter was the ACC Defensive Player of the Year in 1998 and set a school record with 98 tackles as a junior. He was projected to be a first round pick, but chose to return to Charlottesville for his senior season.  In the seventh game of the season, Poindexter tore his left ACL and two other ligaments and needed reconstructive knee surgery. He missed the Scouting Combine and Virginia’s Pro Day. He played in 10 games in the NFL before retiring. He now coaches defensive backs at his alma mater.

2000

1. OT Mark Tauscher – Green Bay, No. 224 (Wisconsin)
2. LB Danny Clark – Jacksonville, No. 245 (Illinois)
3. LS Brian Jennings – San Francisco, No. 230 (Arizona State)

Summary:
It’s the seventh round, and by now you’re learning linemen are my saving grace and Tauscher is no different. He kept Brett Favre’s backside clean for 107 starts, including 14 his rookie season. Clark is a personal favorite (I used to be an Illinois fan) and he’s bounced around (with Jacksonville, Oakland and the New York Giants), but he’s proven himself a valuable contributor. And a lot of you are asking, “Who the hell is Brian Jennings?” You didn’t really think I’d go an entire Best of Seventh Round breakdown without throwing some love at a long snapper did you? I don’t know much about Jennings, but I do know he’s made the Pro Bowl. So, I’m guessing he’s good at it.

Honorable Mention:
QB Tim Rattay – San Francisco, No. 212 (Louisiana Tech); FB Patrick Pass – New England, No. 239 (Georgia); DL Rob Meier – Jacksonville, No. 241 (Washington State), DT Alphonso Boone – Detroit, No. 253 (Mt. San Antonio JC); LS Brad St. Louis – Cincinnati, No. 210 (SW Missouri State).

I Remember He Kicked Ass In College But Blew In The Pros:
QB Joe Hamilton (Tampa Bay), No. 234 – Georgia Tech.
Hamilton set ACC records for total yards (10,640), touchdown passes (65) and total touchdowns (83). He won the Davey O’Brien Award and finished behind only Ron Dayne for the 1999 Heisman Trophy. Basically, he was Michael Vick with obedience training. I know one thing, watching Joe Hamilton dart around in those gold uniforms would have been hot in HD.

I Hate Notre Dame So I’m Glad You Sucked:
QB Jarious Jackson (Denver), No. 214 – Notre Dame
. He threw for more yards in a season than Joe Montana or Joe Theismann ever did in South Bend.  With John Elway’s retirement following the 1998 season, the Broncos drafted the former Notre Dame product to provide depth behind Brian Griese. He saw action in only five games, completing 11 of 22 passes for 114 yards. And he was the man for Notre Dame when they were good. Yeesh.

Creepy Blogspot Site Sort Of Related To Me:
LB Orantes Grant (Dallas), No. 219 – Georgia.
Apparently, this University of Georgia alum and fan can’t seem to get enough of Orantes Grant. His blog (http://orantesgrant.blogspot.com) has absolutely nothing to do with football. It basically just tells us how nice and beautiful this young guy’s family is, and of course how he promised to name his first child Orantes Grant in honor of the former Bulldogs linebacker. “A promise was made that has been realized 10 years later. Thank the good Lord above it wasn’t a girl,” the proud papa writes. Grant spent time with Dallas, Washington and Cleveland, with his last cameo coming in the 2003 season. But he forever lives on in the Cantrell family.

2001

1. WR T.J. Houshmandzadeh – Cincinnati, No. 204 (Oregon State)
2. CB Renaldo Hill – Arizona, No. 202, (Michigan State)
3. OL Rick DeMulling – Indianapolis, No. 220 (Idaho)

Summary:
He was the guy with the incredibly difficult last name – things of commercial lore – but Houshmandzadeh proved he’s got some game to that name. Overshadowed by Oregon State teammate Chad Johnson, Housh paired up with his college buddy in the ‘Nati and has caught 507 passes for 5,782 yards and 37 touchdowns. His 507 career catches has him ranked in the top-100 in NFL history (99th to be exact). Hill started 31 games at cornerback for the Cardinals before spending 2005 as a starter with Oakland. In 2006, he joined the Dolphins where he’s started at safety. he has 386 career tackles and 15 interceptions. DeMulling was a fixture on the Colts offensive line from 2002-2004 starting 41 games before signing a lucrative free agent deal with Detroit. He started 12 games in two seasons with the Lions, but is now out of football.

Honorable mention:
TE Eric Johnson – San Francisco, No. 224 (Yale); DB Marlon McCree – Jacksonville, No. 233 (Kentucky)

If This Were the Summer Olympics That Would Have Been A Good Pick:
WR John Capel (Chicago), No. 208 – Florida. A world class sprinter, Capel made just one start while in Gainesville and his career totals of 11 catches for 88 yards surely must have whet the appetite of the Bears’ brass. Capel didn’t play football in 2000 because he was on the U.S. Olympic team and failed a drug test (weed) at the Combine. “Sure, what’s a seventh round pick.” He finished eighth in the 200m final in Sydney, but got some consolation when he won gold in the 200m at the 2003 World Championships in Paris. Chicago cut him in training camp and the Chiefs did the same, quickly realizing pads and football knowledge were critical to gridiron success. Capel tested positive for a cannabinoid and received a two-year ban. He has cleaned up his act and returned to competition, citing his then-7-year old daughter Googled his name and learned of his previous missteps. Ah the Internet, bringing families together.

Most Likely To Blow Mr. Belvedere:
DT Colston Weatherington (Dallas), No. 207 -Central Missouri.  The grandson of Queen Elizabeth’s 16th butler Radcliffe Merriweather Weatherington, the MIAA Defensive MVP and All-America has played both ways for Dallas – the Dallas Desperados. His current playing status reads: Active. Unfortunately, the league he plays in: Inactive.

If You Thought Colston Weatherington Was A Badass Name:
WR Ken-Yon Rambo (Oakland), No. 229 – Ohio State
. Sure he only had 17 career receptions all with the Cowboys, but his name makes me think of Stallone. And when I think of Stallone, I smile.

2002

1. DE Stylez G. White – Houston, No. 229 (Minnesota)
2. DT Raheem Brock – Philadelphia, No. 238 (Temple)
3. FB Rock Cartwright – Washington, No. 257 (Kansas State)

Summary:
Was there every any doubt? We’ve covered my love affair with “Teen Wolf” and how the former Greg White forever linked my life with his. He’s a good football player and sure I could have thrown Kyle Kosier up here, but hey, Boof floats my love boat. Stylez G. White to the grave. Brock never played for the Eagles. Instead, he landed in Indianapolis and was a perfect fit for their defense, entrenching himself as a starter since midway through his rookie season. Now, perhaps a lot of you are asking yourselves, “Who the hell is Rock Cartwright?” If you’re a Redskins fan or an NFC East fan then you already know who the most intense player in the NFL is. It’s Rock Cartwright. First, there’s his name. A perfect fit. He’s a special teams battering ram. It would be like a heroin addict named Needles Diamorphine. EA Sports and Rock have an interesting love affair. Basically, they gave him the reach around, but then told him to clean up himself. In NCAA Football 2002, Cartwright’s “Likeness” was the highest rated fullback in the game (must have been huge at parties). However, in Madden 08, Cartwright wasn’t given a rating under the kick return category (he has 4,464 career return yards). Actually, he does have a rating, it’s 0. The game was updated five times and each time, the oversight remained. Cold-blooded. I don’t think I’ll find a better round in my entire anthology research: my new favorite player (Stylez), one of the nicest players I’ve met (Brock) and one of the most exciting players to watch (Cartwright).

Honorable Mention:
OL Kyle Kosier – San Francisco, No. 248 (Arizona State); WR Ronald Curry – Oakland, No. 235 (North Carolina); WR David Givens – New England, No. 253 (Notre Dame); T Kevin Shaffer – Atlanta, No. 244 (Tulsa); DE Brett Keisel – Pittsburgh, No. 240 (BYU).

I Remember He Kicked Ass In College But Blew In The Pros:
RB Luke Staley (Detroit), No. 214 – BYU
. A first team All-American, Staley won the Doak Walker Award in 2001. During his junior year, he rushed for 1,596 yards (8.1 yards per carry) and 24 touchdowns, both school records. Not bad for Provo where passing is second nature – like having multiple wives. Staley decided to forgo his senior season and just like John Walsh earlier, it was an ill-advised decision. Staley had an injury-riddled past and he was white (still is last time I checked). That’s never a good combination for a running back. Football was brief and he’s a pharmaceutical rep, married (to one wife) and has two daughters. Now, that’s the American Dream.

How To Get $3 Million A Catch:
WR David Givens (New England), No. 253 – Notre Dame.
Six receivers were taken in the seventh round before Givens, but the Golden Domer found a niche with the Pats and was a postseason starlet (seven touchdowns in eight postseason games) during the New England Dynasty Days. He parlayed that postseason success into a $24-million deal with Tennessee even though he never caught more than 60 passes or eclipsed 900 yards in a season. Predictably, he caught just eight balls with the Titans before blowing his knee out.

2003

1. WR Kevin Walter – New York Giants, No. 255 (Eastern Michigan)
2. K Josh Brown – Seattle, No. 222 (Nebraska)
3. LB Scott Shanle – St. Louis, No. 251 (Nebraska)

Summary:
Kevin Walter is the name most fantasy football owners followed with, “Who the shit?” and “Again!?” Walter debuted with the Bengals in 2003, but it wasn’t until he made the move to Houston that he blossomed while defenses strip-searched Andre Johnson. In the last two seasons, Walter has caught 125 passes for 1,699 yards. This past season he caught eight touchdowns, good enough for top-10 in the league.  Brown has been booting field goals for the Seahawks since he was drafted and he’s hit a more than respectable 81.2% of his kicks since 2003. He was damn near unconscious in his second season going 23-of-25. That’ll keep you around for a bit. He’s 91st in NFL history in scoring with 683 points. Another Nebraska product, Shanle started 11 games in two seasons with Dallas before signing with New Orleans as a free agent. He’s been the Saints starter at right linebacker the last three seasons and has 234 career tackles.

Honorable Mention:
LB Mario Haggan – Buffalo, No. 228 (Mississippi State); LB Tully Banta-Cain – New England, No. 239 (Cal).

I Remember He Kicked Ass In College But Blew In The Pros:
QB Ken “Motherfucking” Dorsey (San Francisco), No. 241 – Miami. Dorsey owns Miami’s record book. He’s tops in passing touchdowns (86), completions (668) and passing yards (9,565). Move over Vinny and Bernie, here comes Kenny. But there was good reason Dorsey fell to the seventh round despite compiling a 38-2 college career. He’s a statue. Need proof? We told you he owns the school’s all-time passing record with 9,565 yards. Well, he also owns the school’s record for total offense with 9,486 yards. That means in his 40 starts, he managed to gain all of -79 rushing yards. And he has a squirt gun for an arm. When you throw like limp-wristed Lamar Latrell, you know things might get ugly. And ugly is exactly what Dorsey’s 0-touchdown and 7-interception 2008 was.

You Might Have Gotten Drafted, But We Kissed Your Girlfriend:
QB Gibran Hamdan (Washington), No. 232 – Indiana
. If you want to observe the facial expression of someone trying to comprehend the incomprehensible, try to find a shot of my face when I learned that Gibran Hamdan had been drafted in anything other than the Kuwaiti army. I mean after his nine-touchdown senior season at IU, we just knew he was destined for great things. To his credit, he’s still in the league (third string with Buffalo). Apparently, Hick Flick once scored a kiss from Hamdan’s ex. Upon further interrogation, he admits it was just a peck on the cheek. The little Philly broke his heart, leaving for home early that night with her visiting from out-of-town brother and not returning Hick Flick’s phone call after the incident, thus eliminating any chance of making a decision that would lead to “
a lifetime of regret.”

From The Awesome Name Bin:
DB Curry Burns – Houston, No. 217 (Louisville). Usually only on the way out; WR Taco Wallace – Seattle, No. 224 (Kansas State); DT Montique Sharpe – Kansas City, No. 230 (Wake Forest); CB Blue Adams – Detroit, No. 220 (Cincinnati); OL Dave Yovanovits – New York Jets, No. 237 (Temple); DB Siddeeq Shabazz – Oakland, No. 246 (New Mexico State).

2004

1. RB Derrick Ward – New York Giants, No. 235 (Ottawa, Kansas)
2. CB Jacques Reeves – Dallas, No. 223 (Purdue)
3. WR Patrick Crayton – Dallas, No. 216 (Northwestern Okla. State)

Summary:
After running for more than 600 yards last year in his first real action with the Giants, Ward followed that up with a 1,000-yard season this year. The Wind, in the Earth, Wind and Fire Giants running back trio, Ward averaged 5.6 yards a carry and finished the season with 1,409 yards from scrimmage, 300 more than Earth (Brandon Jacobs). Reeves started 13 games for the Cowboys in 2007 before leaving for greener pastures in Houston. This season, he led the Texans with four interceptions (they only had 12 all year). The No. 3 receiver in Big D, Crayton has had more than 500 yards receiving in each of the last three seasons and has caught 15 touchdowns since 2006.

Honorable Mention:
TE Michael Gaines – Carolina, No. 232 (Central Florida); DE Bobby McCray – Jacksonville, No. 249 (Florida); LB Darrell McClover – New York Jets, No. 213 (Miami).

I Remember He Kicked Ass In College But Blew In The Pros:
QB John Navarre (Arizona), No. 202 – Michigan
. Navarre owned the Wolverines’ passing records before Chad Henne broke them a two years ago. As highly touted as he was, he never really paid off. He’s Michigan’s version of Ron Powlus. Big hype, letdown, but overall still a respectable career. Like I said, he set school records.

Enough Of This Tony Romo Shit, I’m A Real Cowboy:
QB Cody Pickett (San Francisco), No. 217 – Washington
. Pickett’s dad, Dee, was the 1984 World Champion Cowboy and is an inductee in the ProRodeo Hall of Fame. Cody was pretty good at the whole lassoing thing too. But he owns the Washington school records for passing yards (10,220), touchdown passes (55) and completions (821). Take that Billy Joe Hobert. And he wants to be a football player first, then a rodeo clown. Pickett didn’t see much playing time after his two gross starts with the 49ers in 2005. He spent time in NFL Europe and is now plying his trade north of the border with the Toronto Argonauts, though something tells me he’s more of a Saskatchewan Rough Rider than anything else.

2005

1. DT Jay Ratliff – Dallas, No. 224 (Auburn)
2. QB Matt Cassel – New England, No. 230 (USC)
3. QB Ryan Fitzpatrick – St. Louis, No. 250 (Harvard)

Summary:
Ratliff
replaced another seventh round gem (Jason Ferguson, 1997) in 2007 and has been the Cowboys’ starting nose tackle ever since. After the 2007 season, Dallas re-signed Ratliff to a $20.5 million, five-year deal. The former Auburn Tiger responded with 7.5 sacks in 2008 and was voted to the Pro Bowl. Known as perhaps the only quarterback to start an NFL game but never a college one, Cassel emerged from Tom Brady’s shadows after the Golden Boy had his leg torpedoed in Week 1. Cassel, understandably, got off to a shaky start. But after the rust came off he finished the year with some pretty damn good numbers (3,693 yards, 21 touchdowns to 11 interceptions). He threw for more yards than Brett Favre, Tony Romo, Ben Roethlisberger and Eli Manning. Oh and despite the Pats not making the playoffs, Cassel did lead them to a 11-5 record. And no, he doesn’t mind losing his job back to Brady. We all know Fitzpatrick blows, but it was either him, a fullback or a nickelback. Plus, the kid went to Harvard so the fact that he’s still in the league is a miracle. And as Carson Palmer’s fill-in this year he did manage to throw for nearly 2,000 yards (1,905 to be exact).

Honorable Mention:
FB Madison Hedgecock – St. Louis, No. 251 (North Carolina), CB Daven Holly – San Francisco, No. 215 (Cincinnati)

I Hope My Brother Does Better Than I Do:
WR LeRon McCoy (Arizona), No. 226 – Indiana, PA
. We’re sure there’s a reason Pitt star running back LeSean McCoy decided not to return to school this year after running for 1,488 yards and 21 touchdowns in 2008.  Watching his older brother, LeRon, struggle to stick with a squad certainly couldn’t have helped that decision. LeRon caught 18 passes in 2005, but injuries slowed him. He’s since been with San Francisco and Houston’s practice squad.

I Would Have Been Great If Everyone Else Stopped Growing In the Sixth Grade:
RB Anthony Davis (Indianapolis), No. 243 – Wisconsin.
This 5-foot-7 tyke once ran for 301 yards in a college game and finished his Badgers career with 42 touchdowns. He’s second all-time on Wisconsin’s career rushing list behind only Ron Dayne. But the little guy couldn’t cut it in the NFL. Instead, he went north where the balls and fields are bigger, but the players aren’t.

Of Course I Was Cheating, I’m A Seventh Rounder:
DL Kevin Vickerson (Miami), No. 216 – Michigan State
. A reserve with the Titans this year, Vickerson was suspended four games for  violating the league’s policy on anabolic steroids and related substances. His agent claims it was a diuretic. What, like cranberry juice? Unlike some other NFL players, Vickerson took his suspension like a man. “Different strokes for different folks. My situations was totally different from the other guys. We were already in the playoffs. That’s why I took the suspension…I think that was the best solution, and I come back fresh for the playoffs.” Nice spin. Hey, he did just got a one-year $535,000 deal for next year and a $100,000 signing bonus. That’s a lot of cranberry juice.

2006

1. WR Marques Coltson – New Orleans, No. 252 (Hofstra)
2. CB Cortland Finnegan – Tennessee, No. 215 (Samford)
3. DB Jarrad Page – Kansas City, No. 228 (UCLA)

Summary:
He was the 32nd wide receiver taken in the draft, but Colston showed enough in training camp to make Donte Stallworth surplus to requirements and the former first rounder was shipped out and Colston was given his starting job. The rookie from Hofstra was leading the league in receiving midway through the 2006 season but injuries limited him in the second half of the year. He finished his rookie campaign with 70 catches (eight for scores) and 1,038 yards. He followed that up with a 98-catch, 1,202-yard season and added 11 more touchdowns. Injuries slowed him in 2008 (I should know, I made him my first WR taken in both my fantasy leagues), but he came on strong toward the end of the year finishing with 760 yards in 10 games. A playmaker in the Titans’ secondary, Finnegan turned his second season as a starter into a Pro Bowl campaign. The Samford product picked off five passes this season and was as close as it came to a shut down corner in 2008. After starting two games his rookie year, Page entered the 2007 entrenched as the Chiefs starting free safety. He’s started 32 straight games there and has seven interceptions and three fumble recoveries in that time. He finished the 2008 season with 85 tackles, tied for second on the team with Derrick Johnson.

Honorable Mention:
DE Dave Tollefson – Green Bay, No. 253 (NW Missouri State); P Ryan Plackemeier – Seattle, No. 239 (Wake Forest); WR David Anderson – Houston, No. 251 (Colorado State).

I Remember He Kicked Ass In College But Blew In The Pros:
LB Tim McGarigle (St. Louis), No. 221 – Northwestern.
If you want to stump even the most ardent college football trivia hound ask him who the NCAA Division I-A (currently known as something like the Football Bowl Subdivision) leader in career tackles is. If you’ve never heard of Tim McGarigle it’s for a few reasons. One, he played for Northwestern. And two, he only made the All-Big Ten first team once in his career (junior season). But, the cat did finish with 545 tackles. And that’s tops in the record books. Oh, but predictably, he blew in the pros.

When I Saw Your Name, I Flashed Back To The Worst Class I Ever Took In College:
CB Cortland Finnegan (Tennessee), No. 215 – Samford. We’ve already touched on Finnegan’s positive attributes, but now for the bad. His middle name is Temujin. You know, the birth name of Genghis Khan. Maybe you didn’t know. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. See, I knew that without looking it up because a buddy and I took a graduate level class in college called Central Asian Explorers. We thought it was Central European Explorers. It was a 10-person class at a round table. One guy wore his authentic Uzbeki fur hat when it got cold and brought pictures of his Spring Break trip to Turkmenistan and Uzbekistan. Girls Gone Wild: Ashgabat! Another classmate reminded our Israeli professor that she had to pick up her kid at 3:15 p.m. everyday, while my friend did an awful job of feigning interest incessantly clicking his pen while staring at the ceiling….at a 10-person round table. Everyone has that one class, that one scheduling mistake. I would have much rather learned the historical context of feminism than read the undecipherable travel log of Franciscan monks lost in the vast Asian continent. But then I wouldn’t have known that Temujin was Genghis Khan’s real name, and y’all wouldn’t have learned something today. But man did that class blow. But that got me thinking, why would a black man with an Irish first and last name have a Mongolian middle name?

When I Get High, I Point Guns At Loved Ones:
CB Willie Andrews (New England), No. 229 – Baylor.
In June, the Patriots defensive back was arrested for pressing a gun to his girlfriend’s temple during an argument, allegedly. His girlfriend fled to a hotel and awaited police. When the police got to the hotel, they saw Andrews “talking” with his boo and then flee. Police then went to Andrews’ house, arrested him and found a .45-caliber handgun near a dumpster. Last year, Andrews was caught with a half a pound of weed when he was pulled over. He was ordered to speak to student athletes about the dangers of narcotics. This time, he’s going to take with student athletes about the dangers of … WHAT?

2007

1. QB Tyler Thigpen – Minnesota, No. 217 (Coastal Carolina)
2. DB Nedu Ndukwe – Cincinnati, No. 253 (Notre Dame)
3. RB Ahmad Bradshaw – New York Giants, No. 250 (Marshall)

Summary:
When Brodie Croyle got hurt and Damon Huard, was well Damon Huard, the Chiefs gave Thigpen a shot. The Coastal Carolina product, who pitched himself prior to the draft on the then-Cold Pizza, put up some pretty good numbers for woeful Kansas City. Thigpen threw for 2,608 yards and 18 touchdowns, ran for three more scores and actually caught one too. He went from afterthought to potential answer to the franchise’s annual quarterback quandary. Perhaps best known for being Brady Quinn’s college roommate or laying out Calvin Johnson in 2006, Ndukwe was an instant contributor with the Bengals’ D, playing in 14 games. He was one of four Cincinnati defenders to log an entry in every statistical column for the season. In two years with the Bengals, Ndukwe has 76 tackles, five sacks and four interceptions. Bradshaw, the Giants’ No. 3 back, ran for 355 yards this season as Fire (whole Earth, Wind and Fire scenario). Bradshaw also amassed nearly 1,000 yards in returns this year for the defending Super Bowl champs.

Honorable Mention:
WR Chansi Stuckey – New York Jets, No. 235 (Clemson); CB Trumaine McBride – Chicago, No. 221 (Mississippi); TE Ben Patrick – Arizona, No. 215 (Delaware); RB DeShawn Wynn – Green Bay No. 228 (Florida); FB Jason Snelling – Atlanta, No. 244 (Virginia)

Remind Me To Fire My Agent:
LB Brandon Siler (San Diego), No. 240 – Florida.
After helping the Gators win the national title, Siler decided to forgo his senior season and enter the draft. Many thought he’d be a third or fourth rounder, but he lasted until pick No. 240. “After you go in the seventh round, you have to doubt it,” Siler said of his decision to leave early. “I was a tad bit embarrassed because of the decision I made for a little while, but it was a decision I made and I’m going to stand behind that decision.” He played in 13 games this season, mostly on special teams, and finished the season with five solo tackles.

Who Said Chivalry Was Dead:
DE Chase Pittman (Cleveland), No. 213 – LSU.
In the summer of 2005, Pittman was arrested and charged with second-degree battery, a felony in Louisiana. The story goes, Pittman got in a bar fight when he saw some grope a random chick. The 6-foot-5, 300-lb. Pittman dropped the dude, about 5-foot-9, 175-lbs., and then kicked him at least twice while he was already unconscious on the ground. That’ll teach him.

Maybe I Can Get A Job At Crate And Barrel:
OT Mike Otto (Tennessee), No. 223 – Purdue.
There’s Michael Otto, the football player from Bunker Hill, Ind. And then there’s Michael Otto, the businessman, who owns the world’s largest mail-order company ($19 billion in sales) and 96% of Crate & Barrel. Otto never played a game in the pros – either one. Looks like he’ll have to pay $29.95 just like the rest of us for this three-tier cupcake stand.

2008

1. S Chris Horton – Washington, No. 249 (UCLA)
2. RB Peyton Hillis – Denver, No. 227 (Arkansas)
3. WR Chaz Schilens – Oakland, No. 226 (San Diego State)

Summary:
What is it about UCLA safeties slipping to Round 7? First it was Jarrad Page in 2006, now it’s Horton. Horton started the second game of the season for the Redskins. It was one to remember. He recovered a fumble, intercepted two passes and was named NFC Defensive Player of the Week. Horton would keep hold of his starter’s job and finished third on the team with 76 tackles and his three picks were a team best. All the preseason hype coming out of Denver had us fixated with a rookie running back who might be the next in a long line of 1,000-yard rushers. However, his name was Ryan Torain, not Peyton Hillis. Hillis, who helped clear paths for Darren McFadden and Felix Jones in Fayetteville, was thrust into heavy action with the Broncos when backfield injuries and bringing back the likes of Tatum Bell-hop became story lines. Hillis scored five touchdowns in four games before he blew his knee out Week 14 against Kansas City. A week earlier, he torched the Jets for 129 yards on 22 carries. Schilens leap-frogged Javon Walker, Ashley Lelie and Ronald Curry on the Raiders’ depth chart and the big, athletic target enjoyed a decent end to the season, catching touchdowns in each Week 16 and 17. In the end, Schilens outperformed all three of the Raiders expensive flop wideout trio.

Honorable Mention:
LB Joey LaRocque – Chicago, No. 243 (Oregon State); RB Justin Forsett – Seattle, No. 233 (California); S Josh Barrett – Denver, No. 220 (Arizona State)

The Biggest Cock Tease Since Brittany Snow:
DB Caleb Campbell (Detroit), No. 218 – Army. The story of the draft’s second day (at least according to ESPN) was whether or not Army’s Caleb Campbell would get drafted and use a new Army policy that would have allowed him to serve his country by playing football. Rod Marinelli, a Vietnam vet, took a chance on the kid. U-S-A! U-S-A! But the Army dropped the Alternative Service Option, and no one told Campbell until he reported to Lions training camp. He’s now with the Air Defense Artillery and is a coach at the Army Prep School, while being used as a recruiting tool. Though not nearly as cool as this one. Franklin Mills Mall, Philadelphia.

From The Land Of Unfortunate Names:
WR Mario Urrutia (Cincinnati), No. 246 – Louisville.
It doesn’t matter how it’s pronounced. When I see it, I see one thing.

Why Would Reggie Bush and Jared Lie To Me:
RB Chauncey Washington (Jacksonville), No. 213 – USC.
While trying to make weight his junior year, Chauncey Washington actually learned something (he was academically ineligible for both the 2004 and 2005 seasons). “I found out for athletes, Subway isn’t the best thing to eat daily. Well, it is instead of going out and eating Burger King or something like that.” I guess that means Chauncey isn’t dropping 10 friends on the Facebook for a free Whopper.

So that’s it for the seventh round, all of them sine 1995. Now, there’s just one more thing to do, give you the top five seventh round picks since “Toy Story” and Boyz II Men were big hits.

1. WR Donald Driver – Green Bay No. 213 (Alcorn State) 1999
2. WR T.J. Houshmandzadeh – Cincinnati, No. 204 (Oregon State) 2001
3. WR Marques Colston – New Orleans, No. 252 (Hofstra) 2006
4. CB Cortland Finnegan – Tennessee, No. 215 (Samford) 2006
5. LB Carlos Emmons –  Pittsburgh, No. 242 (Arkansas State) 1996

If you disagree or think I’ve overlooked someone, drop us a line.

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  1. 5 Responses to “TheBaker’s Draft Anthology: Round Seven”

  2. nice article dugg it do the same for my latest http://www.ctsportspicks.com/articles/Super-Bowl-XLIII-An-Early-Look.cfm

    By ct on Jan 27, 2009

  3. Mark Tauscher should be on the overall top five. Dude is a stud. And he says his last name with that sweet Wisconsin accent.

    By TheRiot on Jan 28, 2009

  4. You got your Packer with Driver. Don’t push it.

    By TheBaker on Jan 28, 2009

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