The Padres Front Office Is Dead To Me

January 9, 2009 – 5:23 am by Ryan Phillips

As I’m sure you’ve heard, yesterday baseball’s all-time saves leader agreed to a deal with the Milwaukee Brewers, officially ending his 16-year tenure with the San Diego Padres. As a lifelong Padres fan, I’m not happy. In fact, I’m the opposite of happy.

Typically I try to take the high road and eschew the excessive use of profanity in my posts. This offering will be a little different. I’m just warning you ahead of time.

(Clearing throat)

Kevin Towers, Sandy Alderson and the rest of the Padres front office can go right outside and fuck themselves. Seriously, fuck you guys. F-U-C-K, Y-O-U, G-U-Y-S. I hate you. No matter what you’ve done for this city, organization and team as far as I’m concerned, you’re all dead to me.

I don’t know what kind of sick fantasy world you’re living in, but you’ve just allowed the greatest player in the history of your organization (aside from Tony Gwynn) to walk away. You guys fucked the dog so badly that he wasn’t even considering returning to the team because of the way you handled the negotiations.

Trevor freaking Hoffman, Mr. Padre, Mr. San Diego, Mr. “Hells Bells” will be playing in another city next year, and it’s all your fault. After 16 years and 552 saves with the team, he had earned the right to stay. He had fucking earned the right. He should have been allowed to finish his career with his family in San Diego, he should have been allowed to do it in his uniform, as a closer and in front of his fans. He earned it and we earned it. We earned the right to hear that song, see his slow trot to the mound and watch that incredible change-up. So great job assholes, you just let the greatest closer of all time walk away. And you didn’t even put any effort into stopping him.

Seriously, what kind of drugs are you guys doing? You thought you could have a 99-loss season then try to trade Jake Peavy and let the face of the franchise for 16 years walk away and we’d be totally fine with it? Some people have told me that we have to accept what the team does because they’re our team, but fuck that. I don’t have to accept it and I don’t have to support people I don’t like who don’t appreciate me or my business.

Sandy Alderson, or as I like to call him: cockbreath, apparently has no idea what’s best for the organization. To him it’s all about statistical analysis and a business model. Well Sandy, you button-downed Dartmouth douchebag, every business is dependent on the satisfaction of its customers. I know that and I’ve only got a journalism degree from a Big Ten school.

You dirty pieces of shit wouldn’t know good baseball if it tapped you on the shoulder, introduced itself then took a two-by-four to your grotesque, wrinkled, hairy bean bags … FUCK!

I need to end this at some point because I could literally rail on these two penny-pinching, cock-sucking, mother-fucking, pieces of rancid horse manure for days. With that in mind I’ll just end this post with what McD says to me at least once on roughtly 279 days each year:

Fucking Padres.

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  1. 15 Responses to “The Padres Front Office Is Dead To Me”

  2. “penny-pinching, cock-sucking, mother-fucking, pieces of rancid horse manure”

    ouch. You ok, man? Is this really about the Padres or is something else troubling you?

    You trading loyalties to a new team or just flying solo for a while?

    Lastly, it would be hilarious if somehow this found it’s way to someone in their front office…

    By Pablo on Jan 9, 2009

  3. I share your pain Phillips. But at least he didn’t become a Dodger. Plus, if you fellas make it up to Milwaukee this summer, you’ll still get to see Hoffy.

    By Booter on Jan 9, 2009

  4. Shouldn’t you want the Padres to put the best possible team on the field?

    By Steve-O on Jan 9, 2009

  5. Couldn’t have said it better…Don’t forget about K.Green…They tried to sue because he got hurt then traded him away. Never heard of some shit like!!!

    By Pepito on Jan 9, 2009

  6. Come on, I understand that he was Mr. Padre but he sucks now. Let him go, a last place team doesn’t need a over the hill closer. He should have signed with a team that had a chance to win, none would have him though. Hoffy can suck it!

    By Big Cat on Jan 9, 2009

  7. Actually, as a Padre fan, I was hoping he would sign with an NL West team, just so we could get a few extra late-inning wins next year.

    I’m sorry, but I rooted for Hoffy as much as anyone. But the guy strolling out to Hell’s Bells now is no longer the Hoffy I want to remember, nor is he the guy I want my team relying on to get crucial outs.

    However, I do agree with your assessment of the SD front office.

    By CarpeDM on Jan 9, 2009

  8. As a Brewers fan, I saw the same thing happen to Paul Molitor in the 90s only to see him go on and win the world series MVP with the Blue Jays(wearing his “boy’s” #19). I feel your pain. And being a Brewers fan I can’t wait to hear Hells Bells play the 1st time he comes into a game…it’s going to be electric.

    By buckybadger on Jan 9, 2009

  9. Front offices are cutthroat places. But when a guy plays his entire hall of fame career for your team, and you cheered for him when he’s in his prime, you owe it to him not to pile on or say he sucks when he gets old. People made fat jokes about Tony Gwynn at the end, but did we want him run out of town? Absolutely not. He also played for some shit teams at the end. Let’s not lose our souls in the rebuilding process by being okay with doing what the team did to Hoffman.

    By McD on Jan 9, 2009

  10. Fair enough, he doesn’t suck but I wouldn’t want him closing for me. Also the Brewers by no means should be using “Hells Bells.” It is just wrong, plus I hated Trevor Time being a Giants fan and all.

    By Big Cat on Jan 9, 2009

  11. Pablo,
    Surprisingly, all of this anger came just from the Hoffman thing. But it’s been building since sometime in November, so it was stored up for a while.

    And I don’t think I could bring myself to trade my allegiance to somewhere else. I mean I’ve been a die-hard fan for more than 25 years. There are other teams I like to see win (like the D-Rays) but I can’t love them the way I’ve always loved the Padres.

    I guess it’s true what they say: the ones you love end up hurting you the most.

    By Phillips on Jan 10, 2009

  12. Compare him to LT. LT had 3 quarters of football this year. What would have happened if we kept Michael Turner? LT is a legend but if he isn’t playing he doesn’t do us any good.

    Baseball sucks anyhow but I do see reasons to get rid of old players that aren’t producing.

    By JMO on Jan 10, 2009

  13. Dude…here’s the point. Moores and all that garbage screwed the pads. Yes, the pads aren’t gonna do well next year. No, they can’t afford Hoffman. But um…rebuilding seldom goes well. So we might as well have kept hoffman. Or at least offered arbitration so we could get a draft pick out of his leaving. But we should have kept hoffman. Its not like he would have been holding next year or the year after that back.

    By meow on Jan 14, 2009

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