Free Moustache Rides For Distraught Eagles Fans

January 19, 2009 – 1:01 am by Matthew Glenesk

Who wins in a Selleck/Celek fight?
Who? Brent Celek. You know the second-year Philadelphia Eagles tight end out of Cincinnati. Well, you should have known.
I only told you on Friday he was going to blow up in the NFC Championship Game.

Sure the Eagles lost, but our boy Brent caught 10 balls, including two for scores (he only scored once during the regular season – I also said the Eagles would win, so I’m still full of shit).  Not bad Mr. Celek. Not bad at all. But your team lost.

Then there’s Tom Selleck. The Selleck/Celek all the others try to live up to. He was Magnum P.I. and, thanks to him, moustache aficionados had a lip fur poster child for decades. And we’ve only mentioned “Mr. Baseball” about 1,700 times on this blog. He was also a key cog in the hilarious Guttenberg-Danson-Selleck machine that gave us such hits as “Three Men and a Baby” and “Three Men and a Little Lady.”

But besides some cameos as Monica’s older beau on “Friends,” Selleck has been rather quiet. Except for when he’s getting comfy with Rosie. Perhaps he should have done this mid-interview:

(we do not condone violent conduct toward women, nor think its funny when dudes go all Lawrence Phillips on ladies, but well, this is really freaking funny. – Language warning for those at work.)

Was it just me or were some of the Eagles players celebrating with the Cardinals guys after the game?
Asante Samuel and Correll Buckhalter looked awfully chummy and downright giddy at midfield after the loss. Now, I’m all for sportsmanship and the fraternity of players, but come on, you just lost out on a trip to the Super Bowl to the Arizona Freaking Cardinals. You know, Garrison Hearst, Andre Wadsworth and Stoney Case? Yeah, those Arizona Cardinals.

The Cubs traded their former top prospect Felix Pie to Baltimore on Sunday.
Pie is noteworthy for a number of reasons. He’s still only 24-years old and has great tools. He also has the distinction of having one of the greatest spring training injuries of all-time – a twisted testicle, for us layman. Pie was out of options, and he wasn’t going to get any better sitting on the pine behind Milton Bradley and some really fast guy who can jump over cars. Pie will now vie with another Cubs top prospect flop, Luis Montanez, for left field in Camden Yards.

Montanez was the No. 3 overall pick by the North Siders in 2000. He was a shortstop who couldn’t play short. Then he was a second baseman who couldn’t play second. Now, he’s a left fielder fighting for at-bats with a guy everyone said was the next Ken Griffey Jr., only for him to turn into the next Corey Patterson, who coincidentally enough played in…Baltimore. Weird. I guess it helps that the O’s GM, Andy MacPhail used to captain the ship in Wrigley.

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  1. 2 Responses to “Free Moustache Rides For Distraught Eagles Fans”

  2. HOW CAN SHE SLAP?!?!

    By Sean on Jan 19, 2009

  3. Sorry buddy but that video overshadows the rest of the post. HOW CAN SHE SLAP ME?!?!?!

    By Pablo on Jan 19, 2009

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