With today’s completely entertaining whacking of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers my San Diego Chargers moved one step closer to what could be the most undeserving playoff run in modern sports history. And thanks to the Denver Broncos completely shitting the bed, at home, against the Buffalo Bills, all the Chargers have to do is beat the Broncos next week, at home, on Sunday Night Football to make the playoffs. Keep in mind that this is the same Denver team San Diego had beaten in Week Two of the season before Ed Hochuli decided to totally screw that up.
So Norv Turner is one home win away from taking the Chargers to the playoffs for the second straight year. For some unfathomable reason, A.J. Smith has guaranteed that Norv will return next year regardless of what happens, but I think we all need to take a deep breath and really look at this.
Turner is an awful head coach, we all know that, we all understand that. But if this team makes the playoffs with an 8-8 record, it will be only the second time in NFL history that an 8-8 team has won a division championship. Naturally, the only current member of that club is the 1985 version of the Cleveland Browns, coached by Marty Schottenheimer. It was also Bernie Kosar’s rookie year in ’85. Many people have compared Philip Rivers to one Bernard Joseph Kosar Jr. Both guys are 6’5, both had fantastic college careers for current ACC schools, both have unorthodox, low arm angle deliveries, just average to decent arm strength and both were drafted by Marty Schottenheimer-coached teams. And if the Chargers do make the playoffs, they’ll both be the only men in NFL history to quarterback 8-8 teams to division titles.
Let’s keep one thing in mind, that Browns team made the playoffs with a rookie starting at quarterback, what’s the Chargers’ excuse? And no, “they have a retard for a head coach” is not an excuse.
From what I’ve told you, it’s easy to discern that if San Diego does make the playoffs, they will be the worst divison winner to reach the postseason in NFL history. Hell, they could be the worst division winner in sports history. By the way, that distinction currently rests with the 2005 N.L. West Champion San Diego Padres, who at 82-80, redefined what is meant by championship-level mediocrity.
So here’s the deal: If he Chargers do as they should and beat the hell out of Jay Culter, his Bama Bangs and his chop-blocking buddies from Denver, then San Diego will enter the playoffs as the most undeserving division champion in sports history.
Which means I’ll have to watch them trudge through at least one playoff game with their marble-mouthed, moron of a coach screwing things up left and right while his players try to win in spite of his worthless ass. Yeah, I’m really looking forward to the next few weeks, let me tell ya.