So, Is This Rock Bottom?

November 26, 2008 – 3:48 am by Hickey

Finally, I know what it feels like to be a Baylor alum — but only half as respectable, as the Bears actually have a good basketball team now.

After months of speculation, Indiana was finally meted out its penalty by the NCAA on Tuesday. Thankfully, it was no more severe than the sanctions that IU already placed upon itself. The harshest punishment was handed to no-good, cheating, lying, scum-sucking, collie-molesting rat bastard Kelvin Sampson.

Sampson, who is so rare a man that he incurs the full vitriol of both Indiana and Illinois fans, won’t be able to coach again in the NCAA for another five years unless the institution that would be foolish enough to hire him shows just cause for doing so. Of course, Sampson is currently an assistant for the Milwaukee Bucks, so that probably won’t matter anyhow. It’s just nice to know he’s not welcome back in the college game anytime soon.

However, this small glimmer of good news does little to improve the IU athletic department in its current state. Saturday, the football team was handed the most embarrassing loss imaginable in the Old Oaken Bucket Game, getting trounced 62-10 by a crappy Purdue team that finished 9th in the Big Ten. To put that in perspective, the Purdue basketball team scored 66 points in its game on the same day.

If IU was in any position to do so, coach Bill Lynch would have been fired before he even got to the locker room. Without even getting to say good-bye to the team. Just take his keys right on the sideline.

Unfortunately, with money as tight as it is and the Sampson buy-out/Tom Crean hiring cleaning out the budget, that’s not going to happen. Ideally, IU would have made its move a year ago when the program grabbed its first momentum in ages by earning a bowl bid. Tell Bill Lynch he did a fine job of holding the team together as an interim coach, and some up-and-coming young coach — perhaps someone like Western Michigan’s Bill Cubit — could have come along and grabbed it by the horns.

Of course, the emotion of qualifying for a bowl following Terry Hoeppner’s death made making the sound choice an impossible PR move. Thus, I can’t begrudge the administration for keeping Lynch on. And I’m not surprised the Hoosiers suck again. I just figured it would take another year or two to get there.

As for basketball, we all know Crean will have things rolling again when he’s playing will a full deck of cards. But until that happens… guh. Any single-digit loss will be considered a bonus.

Hell, I just want the Hoosiers to beat Chaminade. But if the Hoosiers do fall to the Silverswords, at least we’ll know we’ve reached the point where it can’t get any worse.

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  1. 2 Responses to “So, Is This Rock Bottom?”

  2. did he really molest a collie?
    that doesn’t sound very old oaken bucket-y.

    By nancy on Nov 27, 2008

  3. Only in the same way a mother fucker fucks mothers.

    By Hickey on Nov 28, 2008

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