Clint Malarchuk: Lucky or Cursed?

October 10, 2008 – 1:47 am by Hickey

Clink Malarchuk is best remembered for being involved in one of the grisliest accidents in NHL history. If you don’t have an aversion to seeing mass amounts of blood on ice, here’s a closer look (Seriously, don’t watch if you’re squeamish):

Even more disturbing than the imagery is the cheesy music they use to cue to the commercial midway through the video (which is obviously a direct feed since we never see the actual commercial.) Perhaps Malarchuk’s injury had something to do with the evolution of outro music on TV sportscasts, since in the modern era the NFL on Fox has special over-dramatic piano music when they go to a commercial and someone is injured on the field. Oh yeah, back to the actual subject at hand.

Malarchuk is back in the news today for another bizarre accident involving his head. And once again, it would seem that he’s lucky to be alive.

While hunting rabbits in Nevada on Tuesday (please hold all Elmer Fudd jokes), Malarchuk accidentally shot himself in the chin with a shotgun.

Apparently, he’s going to be OK, and we’ll assume he will soon return to his current role as the Columbus Blue Jackets’ goaltending coach. After all, he was back with the Sabres four days after his throat was slashed. (This is the reason chicks dig hockey players.)

But this does pose an excellent philosophical question: do you see Malarchuk more as a “How the hell does all this shit happen to one guy?” type of guy, or do you view him more like Bruce Willis’ character in “Unbreakable*”?

I don’t have an answer. That’s why I’m asking you. So class, begin the discussion.

*= also referred to as the last viewable M. Night Shamalamadingdong film.

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  1. 6 Responses to “Clint Malarchuk: Lucky or Cursed?”

  2. ugh, so this made me go check out the wikipedia site on him. Apparently the only reason he lived is because the team’s trainer, a Vietnam vet, reached in his throat and pinched the artery until the doctors sutured it. When it happened, something like 9 people in the stands fainted, another 2 had heart attacks, and 3 player threw up on the ice. We’re talking about hockey players throwing up because of how nasty this is. Hockey players!

    By Pablo on Oct 10, 2008

  3. Holy Christ! That’s insane.

    And Signs is a really good movie. I don’t care what anyone says.

    By Red on Oct 10, 2008

  4. Accidents DO HAPPEN YOU JERKS. If you knew Clint you would not be making these STUPID ASS jokes about what lately or in the past have happened to him. I have known Clint for many years and HE IS A GREAT GUY. My family got to know him when he played for the Portland Winter Hawks and I think that all the crap that people are saying is wrong, if you knew him and he was your friend and well, you WOULD BE THANKING GOD THAT HE IS OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For the people that are making dumb ass comments about him……maybe you will think again if something like this happens to one of your friends !!!

    By Lori on Dec 27, 2008

  5. I agree with Lori, back off of the Malarchuk bashing. Yes he is one tough SOB, yes he had an accident, but he is one of the best hearted people I know. When he lived & played/coached in Vegas he did tons of youth oriented activities and he is probabley the best motivational coach I have ever known. I thank god every day that he is ok and the rest of the world should too. This is one individual that the world doesn’t need to lose, but I have my doubts about you others!!!!

    By Karyn on Jan 9, 2009

  6. I don’t see at any point where I was bashing Clink Malarchuk. Perhaps I could be accused of not treating a serious story with the proper amount of gravitas, but this is simply an attempt to point out the absurdity of two very random, dangerous things happening to one guy and him walking away A-OK. It’s just kind of a bizarre thing. If anything, I think he should be inducted into the Hall of Total Manly Awesomeness.

    By Hick Flick on Jan 9, 2009

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