Monta Ellis Now Knows Mopeds Are Very, Very Dangerous

September 25, 2008 – 12:40 pm by admin

We seriously wish we were making this up. Not because we’re Golden State Warriors fans (we’re not), but because this just makes a fine young man like Monta Ellis look stupid.

Turns out Ellis didn’t severely injure his ankle in an offseason pickup basketball game. Instead he did so while riding a moped in his hometown of Jackson, Miss., in mid-August. He had surgery shortly thereafter and is expected to be out another couple months.

Here’s the thing. We remember when mopeds were cool. We were about 14 years old. Kids were riding their scooters around town and we didn’t have one. It was a difficult and awkward time.

Then there came a point when we could drive a car and mopeds were no longer cool. So we’re having a hard time relating to Mr. Ellis. We thought people only rode mopeds in places like Italy or something. This dude is an NBA player and is riding a moped. Who knew?

Anyway, Ellis escalated his stupidity (or immaturity, he’s only 22) by lying to the Warriors and saying he hurt himself in a pickup game.

Now that it’s come to light that he hurt himself while riding a vehicle most 13-year olds can handle, he faces discipline because it’s a banned activity under his new contract AND he tried to cover it up. Where was his agent to tell him that wasn’t very smart?

Ah well. Now he knows better. When you mess witha moped, it messes back. Maybe next time he’ll, ya know, ride a bike. If he can handle that.

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  1. 3 Responses to “Monta Ellis Now Knows Mopeds Are Very, Very Dangerous”

  2. If you injured yourself riding a moped, would you tell the truth?

    By Hickey on Sep 25, 2008

  3. Touche.

    By TheRiot on Sep 25, 2008

  4. Riding a moped is like fucking a fat chick, it may be fun, but you don’t want your friends to know you did it.

    By Booter on Sep 25, 2008

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