5:41, Bottom 2nd: Floyd blew threw the Tigers in order. And we just found out The Man is going to call us away from this live blog. We apologize. Had this game started on time this would not have been a problem. We will do this again sometime. Promise.
5:34, Top 2nd: Sox settle for one. Freddy finessed his way through Thome-Konerko (with his .243 average) and Griffey. Seriously, the dude threw like one fastball. Meanwhile, Steve Stone is doing commercials for Hyundai. Unamerican.
5:27, Bottom 1st: Jermaine Dye punches a single up the middle for a quick 1-0 lead. Nobody out. Hawk explodes in his pants. You can put that on the board. YES.
5:25, Bottom 1st: Home plate umpire is squeezing Freddy Garcia. Back-to-back walks and the Sox have it rolling in the first. That said, Freddy, coming off shoulder surgery, looks Jamie Moyer-finesse.
5:19, Bottom 1st: Sox are coming to bat. Don’t know much about this Gavin Floyd cat but his curveball dirtier than a public toilet.
5:17, Top 1st: Record this as the moment at which we heard the only meaningful contribution Hawk Harrelson has ever had to society: HE GONE!. Magglio Ordonez strikes out for the second out with Sheff on second.
5:12, Top 1st: Gary Sheffield is sitting on 499 home runs and Gavin Floyd plunks him in the knee. Ha. Is there a more angry athlete than Sheff? Think about it.
5:09: Hey! There’s players actually on the field! And there’s actually some fans in the stands! But not as man as we thought there would be. I suppose the moist conditions have held people back from the biggest game their team has played this year. Let’s play baseball. It’s sweet relief from the Jamie Foxx Show. First pitch to Curtis Granderson is a strike and we’re under way.
4:51: First pitch is scheduled for 5:10 Eastern. We’ll be here ready to go. But once this bleeds into dinner we make no guarantees. A man’s gotta eat.
4:40: Well, a Sox fan just called and said the tarp is off the field. We’ll take him at his word because all we see on WGN is a Sox logo in a rain delay box in the upper right hand corner and Judge Jeanine Pirro looks displeased about something.
3:30: Update from Hawk. We’re looking at another hour to 90 minutes until the rain clears and another half hour to get the field ready. Dammit. We were pretty full of piss and vinegar for this live blog but now our energy for it is waning. We’ll see what happens and perhaps revive this post when game time rolls around.
3:28: OK, we’ve moved on to the Steve Wilkos Show (happy Hickey?). I believe this is the cat that worked security for Jerry Springer, but I’m not well versed in the comings and goings of crappy talk show people. Something about money disputes over kids and a formerly drug addicted mother. Wilkos and his guests stand up all the time too. Don’t get that. Hopefully we’re not too far away from baseball. It’s sunny in our locale anyway.
2:46: Holy shit. Can’t let this pass by. WGN has Maury Povich’s ridiculous show going as rain delay filler. Some crazy woman is on here screaming and the caption in the corner says “Help! My teen beats me and has sex in public!” Wow. Now she’s standing up and flailing around saying she wants respect from her crazy/angry daughter. Maury is so composed in the face of this madness. I don’t know how. That is all for now.
2:29: Some dude from WGN sitting in the White Sox dugout says they’re looking at about an hour from now to get this thing rolling. So…we’re going to crack open a bag of Fritos, maybe have some cake and enjoy the rain delay filler. And by that we mean flipping the channels.
2:14: Rain delays are really boring, with all the flapping of gums about stuff that doesn’t matter. We’re going to take a mini break (yeah, we’re tired already), grab lunch and get back to you as we get closer to actual baseball. In the mean time GET BACK TO WORK!
2:11 rain delay coverage: Hawk is spinning yarns about when he broke into the big leagues in 1963. Gah. Darrin Jackson just stares at him and wonders if it’s gonna be over soon. I hit mute.
Rain delay coverage: No word on an official game time. In his pre-game comments Ozzie said of former Sox pitching hero Freddy Garcia: “He’s going to come and try to beat us.” I couldn’t understand anything else. Too fast.
Rain delay coverage: We’ve got the WGN telecast of this one. We like to stick with the hometown boys. Besides, who wants to listen to Steve Phillips? Hawk Harrelson is wearing a Blackhawks cap and shades inside. Interesting.
Pregame: Well, here’s our live blog. We hope you think it’s cool. If you don’t, well, OK. We don’t really know what we’re doing anyway.
But for those of you thinking this might be a kind of interesting way to follow a baseball game that is meaningless to one team and absolutely paramount for another, well, friend, this is the place for you. Set aside your work for a bit and enjoy in about an hour.
Yeah, a game that was rained out once is under a rain delay. Awesome. We’ve got about an hour to wait but the game will get in. And we’ll be on the scene. From our couch.
Let us set up the scene first. We’ll see you in a bit.
The Detroit Tigers at the Chicago White Sox at U.S. Cellular Field in soggy Chicago. Freddy Garcia (1-1, 4.50 ERA) for the Tigers against Gavin Floyd (16-8, 3.91 ERA) for the ChiSox. A totally meaningless game for the Tigers and the definition of a must-win game for the Sox.
A win for the South Siders and they play the Twins in a one-game playoff Tuesday for the final postseason spot in the American League and the right to play the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. That’s a lot of karma to go against right there.
Anyway, it’s raining in Chicago. We’re expecting about a one hour delay. But here are the lineups:
Orlando Cabrera, SS
DeWayne Wise, LF
Jermaine Dye, RF
Jim Thome, DH
Paul Konerko, 1B
Ken Griffey, Jr., CF
Alexei Ramirez, 2B
A.J. Pierzynski, C
Juan Uribe, 3B
Curtis Granderson, CF
Gary Sheffield, DH
Magglio Ordonez, RF
Miguel Cabrera, 1B
Marcus Thames, LF
Ryan Rayburn, 2B
Brandon Inge, 3B
Dusty Ryan, C
Ramon Santiago, SS