The Baker’s Dozen

August 11, 2008 – 1:14 pm by Matthew Glenesk

1. Olympic observation 9:56 A.M. EST. The Polish women’s volleyball team is surprisingly hot. Much hotter than the Russian and Italian contingent.

2. Ben and Jerry’s Cinnamon Bun ice cream is God’s load frozen. By far the best ice cream I’ve ever had.

3. Having the bulb blow on your 57-inch DLP when you have six HD Olympic channels is downright criminal.

4. As a Chicago Bears fan, I am preparing myself for another awful season. Last year’s Achilles’ Heel (besides shitty quarterback play) was the offensive line. First round pick Chris Williams, the supposed answer at left tackle, is out for 10 weeks already. Guard Terrence Metcalf is injured and the Bears are kicking the tires on last year’s retreads Ruben Brown and Fred Miller. Ugh!

5. Brett Favre heading to New York vastly improves the fantasy value of Thomas Jones, Jerrico Cotchery and Laveranues Coles. Also, keep an eye on rookie tight end Dustin Keller. Dude’s got game.

6. “The Pineapple Express” was funny, but not great. A solid effort from Judd Apatow. Was it just me though or did Red, played by Danny McBride, have a little Tony Stewart in him?

7. R.I.P. Chef, aka Isaac Hayes. Soul music and cartoon cafeteria workers have lost a legend.

8. Things do tend to come in threes. First it was Bernie Mac, now Isaac Hayes. Who’s next? Morgan Freeman was on the list, but promised Death he wouldn’t be caught in a 1997 Nissan Maxima ever again.

9. With the U.S. men’s basketball team getting ready to face the African power that is Angola, I’d like to take an Olympic flashback to 1992. Angola vs. The Dream Team. You remember that team, right? David Dias, Jose Carlos Guimaraes, Necas and Jean-Jacques Conceicao. No? Well maybe you remember Charles Barkley landing an elbow to Herlander Coimbra in the midst of a 116-48 drubbing. Chuck offered this in response to the elbow, “Well, he might have pulled a spear on me…If somebody hits you, you hit them back. Even if it looks like they haven’t eaten in a long time.”

10. I caddied for my friend this weekend in his club championship. He lost 5 and 4 in the semifinals of matchplay. But during the whole time watching him struggle to hit fairways and miss putts, I was reminded by Mark Twain’s take on the sport, “Golf is a good walk spoiled.”

11. Not going to lie, in the matchup between hotter political mistress, Eliot Spitzer’s Ashley Dupre, aka “Kristen” is killing John Edwards’ Rielle Hunter. It’s funny, one would think Edwards could pull a little better than this. However, Spitzer did have to fork over like $15,000 a pop.

12.
Olympic observation 1:04 PM EST: Archery is surprisingly fun to watch. The Italians are giving the South Koreans a battle for the gold. Though I’ve been forced to watch it on my non-HD TV.

13. Olympic observation 1:11 PM EST: The Italians choked. Marco Nespoli drops a seven in the last flight. South Korea wins. Let it continue…

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  1. 2 Responses to “The Baker’s Dozen”

  2. is “God’s load frozen” supposed to be a good thing? I’m not sure I want to eat anyone’s load, frozen or not.

    By Pablo on Aug 11, 2008

  3. God’s load, 15 grand a “pop”…well played.

    By The MCD on Aug 13, 2008

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