Tony Gonzalez Is Saving The Enemy

July 8, 2008 – 11:03 am by McD

Some might say Tony Gonzalez has been the Kansas City Chiefs’ only consistently good offensive player over the past decade or so. What? I count as “some.” Priest Holmes was only great for a few years and the Larry Johnson Era is plodding along in mediocrity. But Tony Gonzalez has always been there catching touchdowns and padding his Hall of Fame resume.

And I’ve hated him every step of the way, not because he’s a bad guy or anything, it’s just the Kansas City Chiefs are evil. And, as a Chargers fan, not even this story could change my opinion about that.

Yeah, so Tony Gonzalez saved the life of a choking Chargers fan. Apparently, the guy was at the table next to Gonzalez and the future hall-of-famer performed the Heimlich maneuver and saved him from choking to death. I don’t even know what else to say about that. It was an amazingly heroic thing of him to do for some one, especially since several articles say everyone else in the place was still sitting down and just staring. I have no problem saying “good on ya” to Tony Gonzalez on this one.

But, I wonder, if the situation had been reversed, would a Charger fan (or Rams, Raider, or Broncos fan) have done the same to Tony Gonzalez?

First, the guy is listed at six-five and 251 pounds, so I doubt I could get my scrawny blogger-arms around him. And no one wishes death on opposing players, no matter how much damage they do to their beloved teams. Well, except maybe Packer fan if Brett Favre returns as a Viking. And Viking fan on Brett Favre for making them root for Brett Favre…this is getting complicated. Also, we, as fans, don’t see the rivalries between teams the way players do. They’re getting paid, we’re there for the “atmosphere.”

Anyway, though I’ve been lying because it’s killing me to say it, I respect Tony Gonzalez a great deal (no homo) and wish him success saving lives until the regular season starts*. Then he can go fuck himself. Again.

*This statement only applies to Tony Gonzalez. The Raiders, Broncos, and Chiefs are all still bitch-teams and should receive only antipathy and disdain at all times.

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