The Chosen One Continues To Shine

July 9, 2008 – 10:03 pm by Ryan Phillips

Let’s face it, the Padres suck.

After today’s 5-2 loss to the Marlins, they currently own the third-worst record in baseball. Their offense is downright atrocious and the pitching hasn’t been much better. On top of that, they currently have nine players on the disabled list including both opening day catchers, the opening day second baseman and No. 2 hitter, and their No. 2 starter. Awesome. Yeah, it’s been a rough season for us Padres fans this year. But, there is, of course, one shining beacon of hope: The Chosen One.

Yes, Chase Headley, the savior of the franchise and (quite possibly) the last hope for mankind, is finally up and playing exactly how we thought he would. He’s been up for less than a month and already his assault on the Major League record books has started.

In just 21 games he has 22 hits. Only 4,235 left until Rose’s record falls. You getting nervous Pete?

The Baseball Jesus has also belted five home runs already. Five. He’s slugging dingers at a prodigious rate. Barry Bonds’ name stains the record books right now, but if A-Rod doesn’t catch him, expect Mr. Headley to get the necessary 758 home runs before he’s done. We predict he’ll get there in 23 short years. He’ll be 47 at the time, but age will not diminish his production level. He’s like the Highlander.

He’s even tearing up the stat sheet in unlikely places. He’s got 26 strikeouts right now. Reggie Jackson’s record of 2,597 appears safe, but Headley could certainly become the top switch-hitter of all-time in the category. Mickey Mantle’s mark of 1,710 is truly in danger. On a side note, did anyone else know Sammy Sosa is second all-time in strikeouts with 2,306? I found that fascinating. Other guys I didn’t expect to be as high on the list: Jim Thome (2,122) is third, Andres Galarraga (2,003) is fourth and Craig Biggio (1,753) is 12th.

So, as you can see, Headley is rapidly ascending toward greatness and the savior of the franchise has arrived. He’s going to set the tone for the team for the rest of the season and create momentum going into next year when he will lead the Padres to their first of many championships during his career. So relax Pads fans, it’s nothing but smooth sailing now.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

  1. 2 Responses to “The Chosen One Continues To Shine”

  2. First of all, funny blog. I feel bad for you Padres fans. I’m a Phillies fan. They’re doing alright now, but , believe me, I’ve gone through years of misery. You should visit my blog at

    By Striper 43 on Jul 10, 2008

  3. The Padres are terrible, but I love that throwback uniform. Can we please petition to bring back the yellow and brown?

    By Red on Jul 10, 2008

Post a Comment