So You’re Telling Me There’s A Chance

July 2, 2008 – 12:22 am by TheBaker

So it’s still 65 days until the 2008 NFL season gets underway, but fantasy football fanatics (myself included) are already frothing at the mouth to get the year underway. I’ve got 46 days until my draft and with each day that passes, the area of my brain usually reserved for important things like remembering to pay bills and thinking before I speak is slowly overrun by thoughts of Westbrook or Addai at No 4.

The folks at Yahoo! Sports annually rank every team for fantasy purposes. On Tuesday, they revealed the team they predict to have the least fantasy value, or the team whose players will have the least fantasy value.

The winner, or loser in this case is, the Chicago Bears.

My beloved Chicago Bears.

No. 32.

Out of 32.

According to Yahoo!, the Bears don’t have a single player you’d want to start in a fantasy league. That’s right, not one. I declare shenanigans! Lest they forget the NFL’s highest-paid kicker, Robbie Gould?

Rookie running back Matt Forte and wide receiver/return god Devin Hester might have value they claim. But after that, there ain’t shit. As a devoted Bears fan though, I feel it’s my duty to strike back even if I don’t have a leg to stand on in this case.

I live in Indianapolis and I still get the Chicago Bears Super Bowl jokes on a daily basis (and yes, that was two years ago).

Rex Grossman has more fans in Indy than anywhere else and it has nothing to do with his Bloomington, Ind., roots. A good friend of mine, who carries the Colts Super Bowl DVD with him, frequently explains, “Rexy will always have a soft spot in my heart.”

Maybe I’m dumb, high or both, but is Rex Grossman really that bad?

Since 1996, the Bears have trotted out 16 different starting quarterbacks. Let’s go through them real quick:
Dave Krieg – was already dead when he suited up for the Bears. What was Steve DeBerg busy?
Rick Mirer – how big of a bust was Mirer? He was a waste of two first round draft picks.
Steve Stenstrom – nice guy, but the Joe Montana comparisons by Bill Walsh were a tad bit, shall we say biased. Walsh never met a Stanford guy he didn’t like.
Moses Moreno – the Arena League is too good for him.
Shane Matthews – a decent college quarterback, but threw like a girl.
Cade McNown – the next Jim McMahon? Sure, Jim McMahon the Green Bay years.
Jim Miller – not awful and put up nice numbers, but he was always a fringe QB.
Chris Chandler – a concussion magnet, known more for his moniker, Chris Chandelier
Henry Burris – a serviceable quarterback…in Canada.
Kordell Stewart – a wide receiver playing quarterback. Slash and burned.
Jonathan Quinn – career backup, that is until the Bears let him start.
Craig Krenzel – even Ohio State fans were surprised he was in the league.
Chad Hutchinson – should’ve stuck with baseball…or drowned.
Kyle Orton – jury is still out, but the boy can drink that’s for sure.
Rex Grossman – went from MVP candidate to goat in the span of three months.
Brian Griese – washed.

Those aren’t just quarterbacks the Bears have had on their roster since 1996. Let me reiterate: they all started.

Off that list, if you’re asking me, I’m taking Grossman still (though Jim Miller had his moments before Hugh Douglas threw him unceremoniously to the ground in the 2002 playoffs). While Rexy might be the butt of jokes in Indy and around the NFL viewing world, I’m here to tell you there’s a camp of Bears fans that know we’ve seen a whole lot worse.

Ranked right above Grossman in Yahoo!’s undoubtedly time tested composite position rankings is Alex Smith. That’s an interesting one. Both Smith and Grossman have played 32 games in their careers to this point.

Smith, the former No. 1 overall pick, has thrown 19 touchdowns and 31 interceptions and has lost 13 fumbles.

Grossman, who played in the Super Bowl two seasons ago, has thrown 31 touchdowns to 33 picks with 10 fumbles lost.

I know, I know. What’s the point arguing about trash quarterbacks who aren’t even guaranteed starting gigs this year. Both are in training camp fights to keep their jobs. Grossman is dueling with party boy Kyle Orton and Smith has to battle Shaun Hill (if that doesn’t tell you enough then I don’t know what will). However, I digress.

What has Alex Smith shown us that has led us to believe he’s anything but the next Heath Shuler? Hell, Tim Couch just called Smith to thank him on behalf of all No. 1 pick busts.

If Alex Smith throws more touchdowns this season than Rex Grossman, I will go to Matt Buser (dude looks like a collector of child porn) and Scott Pianowski’s basements – offices and give them a good old fashioned love tug. Glove or no glove is totally up to them.

But I know it’s going to be a long season. Marty Booker and Brandon Lloyd are battling for the No. 1 receiver job.

That’s right. I said Marty Booker and Brandon Lloyd are battling for the No. 1 receiver job.

A rookie is going to play left tackle and the other guys on the line got old real fast last year. Oh, and then there’s the rookie running back too (but he should be an upgrade).

So are the Yahoo! boys far off the mark? Probably not. But don’t poke the bear, or more importantly the Bears fan.

Well, at least the Cubs are still in first place…for now.

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  1. 4 Responses to “So You’re Telling Me There’s A Chance”

  2. Jim Miller was the best of the bunch IMO. You are right, that was pretty dirty when Hugh Douglas sacked him and then fell on him.

    By Purdue Matt on Jul 2, 2008

  3. Bears had no chance after that due to the limp-wristed backup named Shane Matthews.

    By The Baker on Jul 2, 2008

  4. My favorite part of SB 41 was when Rex started playing 500 in the second half…
    My favorite non-Colt

    By bakerslifecoach on Jul 2, 2008

  5. Henry Burris is a serviceable enough QB in Canada that at one point he made Akili Smith expendable.

    By Cousin Charlie on Jul 2, 2008

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