While the NBA Finals have been moderately entertaining, there has been one gigantic hole in ABC’s coverage. Of course I’m referring to Jeff Van Gundy’s trap – that balding moron just refuses to shut the hell up! But really the thing that’s been missing from the NBA Finals is the gorgeous, informative and all around perfect 10 that is Erin Andrews. Now I know she doesn’t do NBA games, but this is the biggest basketball series in years, you think ABC and ESPN would have pulled out
her the big guns.
We were wondering what kind of decision making went into the process. Obviously they had to have had a meeting about it. Luckily, we have a “Mole” on the inside at ABC (Get it? Mole? Like the wildly unpopular reality show on that network, eh? Eh?) who recorded said meeting for us. So with a nod to one of our favorite television personalities, we give you our latest Top 10 list.
This week’s Top 10 list, from the home office in Bloomington, Indiana:
Top 10 things overheard at the ABC Sports offices when an executive picked Michele Tafoya over Erin Andrews as the NBA Finals sideline reporter…
10. “We can ill afford another ‘Bruce Pearl Incident’ taking away from this series.”
9. “Who needs a gorgeous, capable woman on the sidelines to draw in viewers. We’ve got Dick Bavetta’s sketchiness to do that.”
8. “The only downside to using Michele Tafoya is having to hire a jackhammer crew to help her remove her makeup.”
7. “Erin’s looks are too distracting. Everyone watching will want to focus on the gorgeous basketball the Lakers will be playing.”
6. “I don’t want to just hand Erin all of the best assignments, I still think I have a shot with her and I’m playing hard to get. Besides, we can’t use her, she’s already getting the best gig of the year.”
5. “In her defense, Michele has never been on camera with Dan Steinberg.”
4. “Forget the Finals, we need to find a way to get Erin and Rick Sutcliffe on the same broadcast.”
3. “Andrews is unavailable, I heard a rumor she eloped with some guy named Phillips. “
2. “There’s just something I love about Michele’s sense of humor. Her wit is drier than her ovaries…”
1. “Let’s put it this way, we can’t use Erin because we don’t want be responsible for another $4 million apology.”