Doug Collins is coming back to coach the Bulls, and I couldn’t be more excited! Combined with the pending Celtics-Lakers matchup in the NBA Finals and baseball teams slowly returning to powder blue uniforms, one thing has become clear: the ’80s are back, baby! And it couldn’t happen soon enough.
Here are a few other things that have popped up in the past year that strengthen our thesis:
- The Lakers wearing short shorts. Well, at least for half of a game.
- The Nuggets scoring like 140 points a game, but losing early in the playoffs. All that was missing was Alex English and rainbow unis.
- The Yankees in last place.
- New Kids on The Block embarking on a tour.
- Indiana Jones is back in theaters.
Given the current pace of things, we can expect to see each of the following to happen by 2010:
- A new John Hughes movie.
- A new movie about a random sport — done in the same vein as The Karate Kid, Airborne and Rad — that includes a gnarly synthesizer-based Jan Hammer soundtrack, complete with an epic montage scene. Our suggestion: Curling, The Movie.
- The return of the mustache. I’m not talking about some Adam Morrison wisp shit, but a real bushy job. Tom Selleck and Keith Hernandez rocked them out like true manly men should. Not that David Wright needs any help drawing in some more poon, but I think he’d be the perfect guy to take it nationwide. Him or David Weathers.
- The Milwaukee Bucks finally returning to their awesome old-school logo.
- The Hartford Whalers returning to the ice with Brass Bonanza gloriously announcing their return.
- Good cartoons on Saturday mornings. Kids these days are all going to be pussies when they grow up. But once He-Man, Thundercats and GI Joe return, they will be whipped right into shape.
- Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out 2, exclusively on the Nintendo Wii.
- If Kanye West thinks he’s such hot shit, maybe he should try bringing back breakdancing. He’s got no cred until he does.
- I don’t know how, and I don’t know where. But Don Johnson is going to make a musical comeback, and it is going to blow your mind.
- Speaking of mind-blowing, can you say Damn Yankees reunion tour? (The Nuge’s sunglasses and bullet-deflecting guitar solo in the linked video say “YES!”)
- Remember, you saw it here first: STEVE GUTTENBERG RETURNS.