One Huge Dingle-Barry

April 29, 2008 – 11:25 am by Matthew Glenesk

I’m no economist, but these times, they are a troubling.

I paid $3.65 a gallon for unleaded the other day. I’m told gas will reach $4 a gallon by the summer and it’s not crazy to imagine $6 gas in the near future. Time to dust the bike off.

A buddy of mine wanted to go see the new “Harold and Kumar” last night. It would’ve cost me $9.50. I’m sorry, but that’s ridiculous. I live in Indianapolis, not New York City, where tickets eclipse the $10-mark. I quickly declined.

I’ll wait until it’s on the “Five Buck Club,” which allows me to see the movie for $5, but only after the movie’s been out for a few weeks. The “Five Buck Club” card has saved me more money than I ever imagined. Because I have to wait a few weeks to see the movie, I almost always neglect to see the movie I was waiting for. Often in my case, the movie turns out to be the same old Hollywood shit and I’m warned off. And to think my friends clowned on me for actually signing up for the card. Who’s laughing now?

And now this?

After devoting $126 million into supposed prize lefty Barry Zito, all I get is an 11-19 record and an ERA surpassing 5.00 after a season and a month!?

Things you can get for $120 million:
There’s the good:
Power in northern Vietnam
Madonna
Possible green energy

Then there’s the bad, or what I like to call “The Zito”:
Twenty years hard time
A faulty diet pill
Mike Hampton

See you later Barry Zito. Enjoy the bullpen.

It’s not like it was a wise investment at the time. Zito had lost double digit games in each of his last four years in Oakland (55-46 combined record). His velocity, which never was any good, has gone pedestrian on us. I’m sure there are thousands of high school sophomores out there that can surpass Baked Zito’s. And I am referring to the thousands of high school sophomore softball players out there.

Geez San Fran, where’s Barry Bonds when you need him?

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  1. One Response to “One Huge Dingle-Barry”

  2. I can attest to the awesomeness of the Five Buck Club. It’s the only excuse I have for seeing Atonement. Okay, fine, there is no excuse.

    By McD on Apr 29, 2008

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