We all know the art of picking a sound NCAA Tournament bracket is beyond the reach of most. Hell, it’s not even an art. A baboon could randomly select a better bracket than most of us who consider ourselves knowledgeable could.
But when it comes to picking which team will win the final game, well, that’s a lot easier. It’s just one game. And this year I’ve come up with the perfect logic.
Everybody seems to be riding the Derrick Rose-Chris Douglas-Roberts bandwagon straight to the net-cutting ceremony. In fact, 59 percent of the country thinks Memphis will win tonight, according to ESPN.com’s latest poll.
In the words of Lee Corso, not so fast my friends.
While I do tend to lean toward guys with three names to get the job done in pressure situations (like Lee Harvey Oswald…too soon?), I’ve got reason to believe Kansas will outlast Memphis tonight.
The reason is simple: Kansas is a well-oiled machine. The Jayhawks are men, guys who have been playing together for awhile and play stingy defense. They have the ability and personnel (Brandon Rush) to shut down Derrick Rose.
Rose, on the other hand, appears to be a 5-year old trapped in a 6-4 point guard’s body. Seriously, who misses a media session because he’s eaten too much candy? And, as we all heard earlier, he’s deathly afraid of needles.
Hopefully Calipari can keep him away from the honey buns long enough for him to play tonight. Now I see how he got Rose on the Memphis campus in the first place:
Calipari: As you can see, we run a high-speed, free-flowing offense that will accentuate your abilities.
Rose: Um coach, I don’t weally know what that means. Do you have gummy bears and coworing books? That would be neat.
Calipari: Sure, uhh, yeah. We could get gummy bears. And gummy worms even.
Rose: Yay!!! I’ll pway for you.
Seriously, you’re going to trust that guy to deliver in a championship game? No way.