ESPN The Magazine recently ran an issue stating that perception is worse than reality in the NBA — everything is better than it seems, and the league is actually in fantastic shape. Hmm, I wonder if that has anything to do with the fact the league (or as fancypants jerks like to call it, the Association) has a contract to show its games on ESPN’s airwaves. I have to admit, if the NBA had an exclusive deal with Rumors and Rants to be its official blog, I’d be writing a nice, flowery piece right now.
But guess what? The NBA completely sucks. And the Chicago Bulls are to blame. (If the Bulls get credit for carrying the NBA with Michael Jordan, they sure as hell are taking the fall). Being a lifelong Bulls fan, I believe that I’ve got the authority to say this.
Never have I rooted against one of my favorite teams. But this year’s Bulls are proving to be the exception to the rule — the most unlikeable set of spoiled, immature pieces of shit ever assembled that don’t play for the Knicks or Pacers. At this point, all I want to do is see them lose so they get a lottery pick and an early offseason so they can clean house as quickly as possible.
It’s been a bad enough season, from Scott Skiles getting canned to Joakim Noah’s suspension for mouthing off to an assistant coach to Ben Wallace’s general worthlessness before his trade. But the tragicomedy keeps getting worse, as documented by the Chicago Tribune’s K.C. Johnson.
We’ve got Chris Duhon missing a team shootaround after sleeping in because he flew back from the North Carolina-Duke game the night before. Hey asshole, the Bulls pay for your check now. So maybe you should pay more attention to that team than your old one.
He also said that it really didn’t matter that he missed the shootaround since he hardly plays anymore. But if you actually practiced, maybe you wouldn’t suck Chris.
Then there is the matter of Tyrus Thomas, a worthless draft pick who should have stayed in school longer and has done little more than sulk as a Bull. (I gave him the benefit of the doubt for quite awhile because he was so young, but once again, skipping practice doesn’t make you better).
To make matters worse, all of these assclowns were sitting on the bench laughing towards the end of their latest dick-kicking from the Pistons.
Despite these woes, the Bulls are somehow still in the Eastern Conference playoff race, just one game behind the Hawks. And that, of course, is the biggest reason that the NBA sucks — that a team that isn’t even trying to win, the 25-38 Bulls, can make the playoffs.
Can you name any other sport where you’d find a scenario like this? Exactly. So I guess perception and reality are one and the same.
Screw the Bulls. And screw the NBA. Call me back when you aren’t a giant ball of suck.