This Is Why We Hate the NBA

March 11, 2008 – 1:12 am by Hickey

ESPN The Magazine recently ran an issue stating that perception is worse than reality in the NBA — everything is better than it seems, and the league is actually in fantastic shape. Hmm, I wonder if that has anything to do with the fact the league (or as fancypants jerks like to call it, the Association) has a contract to show its games on ESPN’s airwaves. I have to admit, if the NBA had an exclusive deal with Rumors and Rants to be its official blog, I’d be writing a nice, flowery piece right now.

But guess what? The NBA completely sucks. And the Chicago Bulls are to blame. (If the Bulls get credit for carrying the NBA with Michael Jordan, they sure as hell are taking the fall). Being a lifelong Bulls fan, I believe that I’ve got the authority to say this.

Never have I rooted against one of my favorite teams. But this year’s Bulls are proving to be the exception to the rule — the most unlikeable set of spoiled, immature pieces of shit ever assembled that don’t play for the Knicks or Pacers. At this point, all I want to do is see them lose so they get a lottery pick and an early offseason so they can clean house as quickly as possible.

It’s been a bad enough season, from Scott Skiles getting canned to Joakim Noah’s suspension for mouthing off to an assistant coach to Ben Wallace’s general worthlessness before his trade. But the tragicomedy keeps getting worse, as documented by the Chicago Tribune’s K.C. Johnson.

We’ve got Chris Duhon missing a team shootaround after sleeping in because he flew back from the North Carolina-Duke game the night before. Hey asshole, the Bulls pay for your check now. So maybe you should pay more attention to that team than your old one.

He also said that it really didn’t matter that he missed the shootaround since he hardly plays anymore. But if you actually practiced, maybe you wouldn’t suck Chris.

Then there is the matter of Tyrus Thomas, a worthless draft pick who should have stayed in school longer and has done little more than sulk as a Bull. (I gave him the benefit of the doubt for quite awhile because he was so young, but once again, skipping practice doesn’t make you better).

To make matters worse, all of these assclowns were sitting on the bench laughing towards the end of their latest dick-kicking from the Pistons.

Despite these woes, the Bulls are somehow still in the Eastern Conference playoff race, just one game behind the Hawks. And that, of course, is the biggest reason that the NBA sucks — that a team that isn’t even trying to win, the 25-38 Bulls, can make the playoffs.

Can you name any other sport where you’d find a scenario like this? Exactly. So I guess perception and reality are one and the same.

Screw the Bulls. And screw the NBA. Call me back when you aren’t a giant ball of suck.

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  1. 8 Responses to “This Is Why We Hate the NBA”

  2. I disagree with your assessment of Tyrus Thomas. When he has received over 25 minutes of playing time, he is averaging something like 12 points and 8 rebounds. Thomas played well the first few games after the trade (back to back 18 point games with very good defense… was even averaging like 4 assists over a like 5 game stretch).

    Boylan has mismanaged this team since he got the job. Tyrus was playing well, but then gets benched because “it’s time” for Drew Gooden to start. Since then, everything has gone downhill. The defense has sucked, the team has fallen apart. Boylan even talked about the inability to rotate by our bigmen on the weakside. The problem is, he is unable to end the suspension at two games, and benches Tyrus when he is our best defender.

    If anything, Tyrus needs to be put back into the starting lineup. He has shown the ability to succeed. Look at how well Thabo (February’s player of the month) and Noah have played once they finally were given minutes?

    I agree with the rest of your post though. Hopefully my comment was readable.

    By Undrafted on Mar 11, 2008

  3. Hear hear. Granted I may be biased because I am a Knicks fan, but the NBA absolutely blows right now. David Stern should get hit by a bus. He is the worst commissioner I have ever seen.

    The Eastern Conference is an embarrassment to pro sports. My awful Knicks will finish below .500 for the 7th year in a row. Nice. The Hawks owners believe they are having a “successful” season, when they are 11 games under .500. Delusional. Denver would be 5th best in the East, and they are 9th in the West. They could win 50 games and still miss the playoffs.
    The 10th best Western Conference team is better than the 3rd best Eastern Conference team.

    And I’m sick of these prima donna players. Pieces of shit like Jason Kidd sulk their way out of town, quit on their team, and still get their wish to be traded. I would have benched his washed up ass, this year and next, and let him sulk. Not like the Nets are going anywhere anyway. LeBron James, you think it’s OK to drive 120 mph because he wasn’t high and drunk? Moron, you can still kill someone going that fast. It’s called reckless endangerment, and criminally negligent homicide.

    I hate these players, I hate the commissioner, and I hate this league.

    By Michael on Mar 11, 2008

  4. Michael, you’re right on the David Stern hate. The way he has handled the Seattle situation is sickening.

    As for Kidd, the other day he was talking about how he was sick of people saying he quit on the Nets. It seemed pretty evident to me that he wanted out.

    By Drew on Mar 11, 2008

  5. Undrafted, you bring up very good points about Thomas. He does play well when he gets the chance. But he gets put at the end of the bench way too often — though that is more Boylan’s problem. But he still has to learn how to be a professional, which hasn’t been the case thus far.

    By Hick Flick on Mar 13, 2008

  6. You’re right about Thomas needing to be more professional. I wrote about it (link by clicking me name). Pretty much, he is involved in a lot of good off of the court, but that is negated by “free money” and skipping practice.

    By Undrafted on Mar 13, 2008

  7. Drew – That’s my point though – Kidd is supposed to be the franchise player of New Jersey, the face of the Nets, and he sulked his way out of town. That’s unacceptable in my eyes. If I’m the Nets owners, I am livid that my franchise player that I am paying $20 million a year to Kidd, and he is basically demanding to get traded. I’m just sick of these “franchise players” like Kidd and Jermaine O’Neal making max money, basically refusing to carry the team when the going gets tough, and then attempting to sulk their way out of town, whether it’d be successfully or not.

    And you’re right, I completely forgot to mention the whole Seattle situation. What a disgrace.

    By Michael on Mar 14, 2008

  8. Michael, I agree with you on Kidd. I probably should have said that on my last post. I was just adding that now he is acting like he didn’t really work his way out of New Jersey.

    By Drew on Mar 14, 2008

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