What She Meant To Say Was…

January 8, 2008 – 6:51 pm by McD

This is not a post chastising Kelly Tilghman for saying young golfers should “lynch Tiger” in order to be able to compete with him. Real nice, lady. She apologized to Tiger and everyone else. And, frankly, she said it on the Golf Channel, so no one was watching anyway. You can tell it was a bad, off-the-cuff remark because of how lame an image she used.

That’s what upset me the most. “Lynch Tiger Woods in a back alley”? Really? That’s the best you could do? Then again, she DID go to Duke. Enough said.

Look, if you’re going to be offensive, go big. Knock one out of the park. Become front page news. With that in mind, here’s our list of some offensive things Ms. Tilghman could have said if she wanted to make a really big splash.

-“Anyone else find themselves instinctively protecting their wallet when Tiger’s around?”

-“Man, that Erin Andrews is a piece of ass, isn’t she?”

-“What the hell kind of name is ‘Sam Alexis’?”

-“I wouldn’t mind borrowing Tiger from Elin so I could play Black Snake Moan, the home game.”

-“Hey, Nick Faldo, you ever notice how you can get really high, then go on TV and say ridiculous shit and have no one notice? Uhhh, me either.”

-“I don’t know why people think Andy Rooney is insane. I find him insightful and witty.”

-“Natalie Gulbis is a great young golfer, but I could totally take her in a naked tickle fight.”

-“You know I heard a rumor that the reason Jim Furyk has that hitch in his shot is because of an old injury he suffered while killing a hooker. But I doubt it’s true, Jim is usually really gentle when he kills a whore.”

-“What’s with this Barak Obama fever? I’m sick of black men begging for change.”

-“So Phil Mickelson and I are comparing cup sizes the other day…”

-“The new American Gladiators is awesome.”

-“You know Tiger’s dominance on the tour has been really overblown. Personally I think it’s a myth…like the Holocaust.”

-“That putt is so easy to read even a Puerto Rican could do it.”

-“When Fuzzy Zoeller made that comment about Tiger’s Master’s dinner why were people offended? Was it because he forgot to mention watermelons?”

Any other suggestions for Ms. Tilghman?

UPDATE: If you want to read the height of craziness, check out the comments at the bottom of this article about Tilghman’s apology. You’ll be glad you did.

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  1. 13 Responses to “What She Meant To Say Was…”

  2. So what’s the over/under on the number of people who leave ranting comments because they aren’t quite smart enough to understand the satire of MCD’s post? Personally, I think it will be 15, with the majority of them being LSU fans.

    By MilwaukeeBooter on Jan 9, 2008

  3. How about “The only way to get in Tiger’s head is to burn a cross on the 18th green”

    By XL on Jan 9, 2008

  4. Funny.

    Except you are now the third blogger I’ve read who has invoked Duke.

    Um. the duke boys were innocent all along.
    That was reverse racism, right?

    Sort of like reverse sarcasm?

    By Anonymous on Jan 9, 2008

  5. I don’t think he’s saying that people that go to Duke are racist, he’s likely inferring that they are stupid.

    By Tom on Jan 9, 2008

  6. No..no..people who go to Duke are racist.

    By Anonymous on Jan 9, 2008

  7. Kelly wasn’t necessarily directing that comment at Tiger. She may have been just a bit upset because the young black fellow she’d invited to her Mandingo party canceled at the last minute. Tilghman was merely projecting her disappointment at the wrong man.

    By Chamomiles Davis on Jan 9, 2008

  8. The Duke Boys weren’t innocent, they just fled across the county line like they always do.

    By Jimbromski on Jan 9, 2008

  9. Is rape-cist a word?

    By Dave H on Jan 9, 2008

  10. Dave H,
    If it isn’t it should be.

    By Phillips on Jan 9, 2008

  11. @ Dave H

    Dr. Funke approves.

    By Bstone on Jan 9, 2008

  12. If you think Kelly Tilghman is a RACIST, show it by voting!


    By tiffanypollard on Jan 10, 2008

  13. hilarious post

    by the way anonymous, whats reverse racism?

    By World of Isaac on Jan 10, 2008

  14. Kelly is big nose pale skinned unattractive woman. Latina women are beautiful!

    I get the smae racist remarks. Once some white folks feel they know me, They start cracking Latino jokes! I alwast tell them in 2016 Us latinos will be the majority..learn spanish!

    By tanlinesilike on Jan 13, 2008

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